Listen, I don't know how to say this, but I'm over you. Our year-long relationship was great, but it's over. I'm sorry. I'm moving on.
I know, I know. We had some great times together. You introduced me to some great friends like Pinterest, my iPhone, Club Project, and my awesome new job. And you brought some really wonderful things to the table, like my nephew Alec and the niece I will meet in March. That trip I took to Alabama was great, and I had so much fun celebrating all the birthdays and happy hours you brought me to.
Haha, remember that time I went shopping for skinny jeans? That was hilarious.
But you were also pretty mean to me. I had to move, Geo moved to Alabama, and there was that one wretched night that resulted in a trip to Urgent Care because my toe was trying to kill me. It was just a lot for one girl to deal with.
Your lack of commitment was daunting as well. It's almost like you weren't focused on ME. You were all about helping other people. Not once did I win the lottery with you. I still don't have that teacup piglet I want so badly, either. Everyone and their mother got engaged or had a baby or bought a car with you, but not me! You totally left me out of everything.
You made empty promises of new houses and lost pounds, but nothing. And our relationship was just unhealthy. I got so fat while I was with you! And despite my best (read: absent) efforts, I am no closer to looking like Jennifer Aniston than I was at this time last year. Oh, and need I remind you of the two months I skipped shaving? WTF? You really held me back, 2011. I want more.
And I guess there's no easy to way to tell you this, but I've met someone. His name is 2012. It actually feels a lot like when I first met you. I'm hopeful and excited to be with him. He makes me think that anything is possible. I know a lot of people say he's bad news, and he's just going to dump me because of that stupid Mayan calendar thing, but I'm optimistic.
Sure I might be a little nostalgic tonight, and I'll probably just spend the night drinking too much and texting people. But it's just right that we break up.
I hope you know I mean it when I say that I'll try and think of you fondly. I'll try to have only good things to say about you if anyone ever asks. But beyond that, I just think it would be best to never speak to each other again. You go your way, I'll go mine. Let's try and not look at this as the End of something, 2011. Let's instead focus on moving forward. You know, new beginnings.
Good luck to you, and thanks for all the good times, 2011. I don't know who it was who said this, but it seems pretty relevant in this case: Auld lang syne, 2011. Auld lang syne.