Shop...Like a Man

Geo and I went shopping on Saturday. Because he's a boy, Geo only brought home like 2 outfits. So we headed to the mall. If there is ever a situation in which a man has it easier, it is shopping.

First, we didn't have to hunt and hunt and hunt for a store that has a petites section. Or pants that come in "Ankle" or "Short" lengths. Men's pants are inherently easier to shop for. Pleated or flat front? What color? Okay, now just throw in your waist measurement and you're done. That's it. There aren't a bajillion different leg widths or cuts designed to flatter. They're just PANTS.

Geo didn't try a single thing on. He'd just look at a shirt and be like "Yay" or "Nay". He didn't have to think about what he'd wear with this sweater or whether that shirt would make his arms look fat. He didn't have to think about which bra he'd wear with an open back shirt or if this v-neck would be appropriate for work or not. There were just SHIRTS.

He also wanted to find grey undershirts. We looked at a couple places, and he couldn't find the right ones, so he just DIDN'T GET ANY. He didn't stand in front of a mirror trying on 45 different grey shirts and complaining that God must hate him because none of these shirts are right! GAH! He just didn't find what he wanted so he didn't get anything, and that was that. They just weren't THERE.

It was pretty crazy. I was in awe when he was all "La la la, here's a shirt I like. I'll just slip it on over my t-shirt and decide if I like it or not." That is not how I shop. I load my arms with 100 different fits and sizes of jeans, and go into the privacy of a fitting room where I can try stuff on, cry (if I'm trying on skinny jeans), and then come out and ask 10 people for their opinion. I'll tug at what needs tugging, shorten what needs shortening, and practice sitting and walking and looking at myself in a 16-way mirror to see what I look like in every plausible position. Then I'll weigh all the pros and cons of the item and ultimately put myself through the shame game whether I buy it or not. It's a lose-lose.

But, this just didn't happen when I shopped with Geo. He just either liked something or didn't. It was either too-expensive or it wasn't. That's it.

Maybe I'll try that next time I shop. I'll shop like a man. Sure I'll end up with ill-fitting pants that do nothing for my figure and 6 different colors of one shirt that I like. But! It'll be a much shorter shopping trip, I'm sure!