Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Dear Crabby

Hey pals! Okay, I'm not going to bypass Dear Crabby this week. Sheesh! The hate mail I received was non-existent overwhelming! So let's get right down to brass tacks..

Dear Crabby,
Okay, I so I called a psychic last weekend. I know, I know. It was probably dumb. But she told me all kinds of stuff that I really haven't shared with other people. She explained that my heart is closed off because of my fear of getting hurt. I know she's right! When I asked her what I could do about it, she said that it was up to me to open my heart up. I'm not sure how to do that. What would YOU do? How do you open up your heart when the concept of being hurt is so scary?!

Thanks Crabbers!
-Ouija Help Me Out Here?!

Dear reader,
Let me get this straight. So far, you have consulted a psychic, an unknown blogger with no counseling experience whatsoever, and then you reference a OUIJA board in your letter? Lady, you got problems. And they're not problems that can be fixed with a $2.99/minute phone call. I'll give you some advice though. Note, please, that I'm not a professional. Nor is the "psychic". Nor is a Ouija board. Here's the thing. It's hard for MOST people to "open their heart". Getting hurt is, like, totally not something people enjoy. My advice to you is chillax. When someone says "Open your heart" it usually means something like "Stop being so self conscious/angry/mean." That's all. Relax, try smiling, and quit asking everyone for advice. Kay?

Dear Crabby,

I get so stressed out at the holidays! I have loads of people that I want to find gifts for, but obvs I am not exactly flush in the finance department. (Excuse me while I join the rest of the world.) What are you opinions on homemade gifts for the holidays? Is that tacky? Or are there any inexpensive go-to gifts I should consider?

Thanks and happy holidays!
-Santa on a Budget

Hey Santa!
Listen. I'm right there with you when it comes to getting a bit overwhelmed with the amount of shopping and presents that must be tended to. However, I LOVE shopping for gifts. I love love love love love it. But this year, I'm shaking things up and MAKING a few of the gifts I want to give. I won't say what I'm making or who it's for, but trust that I've done loads of research. Homemade gifts can be the BEST gifts ever because they are unique. My sister-in-law Leah gave me this necklace she made for reading at her wedding. It's one of my most favorite necklaces, and it is totally one-of-a-kind which makes it even more special. If you ARE going to make a gift, don't half-a$$ it. Spend time doing it. Get the right materials. Don't take shortcuts. The only thing that makes a homemade gift "cheap" is if you put no thought or effort into it. So go ahead and get on Pinterest and find something you think you can make really well. Let us know how it turns out!

Dear Crabby,
The other day I was driving home from school and on my way back home. On the way, I spaced out for a bit and ended up bumping a stop sign with my car. My parents haven't said anything because I don't think they've seen it, but I don't know if I should say anything to them! The damage is really minor, but I don't want to get caught in a lie. Should I tell them!?

Thank you so much!
Student Driver

Oh no, Student Driver...
First of all, I reaaaaally hope you are legally able to drive, because you sound crazy-young. Moving advice to you is FESS UP. Even if you think you're parents will never find out, the guilt will rip you up. Also? Parents find out about EVERYTHING. They may not notice the damage now, but in 6 months when they take the car into the shop for an oil change, they may be asked something like "Well, we noticed the damage to the bumper. What happened? Because it totally messed with your air filters," or something similarly bull-honkyish. Then you're in trouble for the accident AND for lying. Just tell them and get it over with. You're safe, the car's fine. If they do freak out, tell 'em Crabby says to simmer down because really? INBD.

Alright, team. Sorry about missing last week, but it looks like we're back on track! As per usual, go ahead and send some of your neediness my way and send an email to I'll make sure you don't do something stupid.

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