Tuesday, December 27, 2011

What's in the boooooxxxxxx?!

Dudes, I'm back! I took a much needed blogcation (what?) this weekend. Sorry if I left you hanging. Fear not! I'm back and I've spent several days with family, which restocked my material for my blogs. Pretty stoked about it.

Well, I had a positively wonderful Christmas. My family was incredible, we all had a great time, and it was really one of the best holidays ever. I got loads of awesome gifts, and everyone seemed to love what I got them. For those of you who are not friends of mine on Facebook, I will show you one of my favorite gifts:

That up there is a CRAFT CART! My parents gave it to me, along with all the stuff that goes in it. Ribbons and Modge Podge and paint brushes, oh my! It rules. I'm obsessed with it.

Okay, so moving on. Hey, everyone...guess what! Could you guys do me a solid and STOP FREAKIN' GETTING ENGAGED? In the past, oh, month or so, at least 10 (TEN!) people I know have done this. I've read all about it on Facebook, heard about it in emails, and have seen it written in the sky. Can I let you guys in on a secret, though?

It's annoying.

I mentioned this latest uptick in proposals very casually to Geo and he basically sets his arm on fire to get out of the conversation. And I've realized something.

You guys are making me crazy. Seriously. I've had a few moments to myself this weekend and I'll start thinking crazy thoughts. "Is it me?" "Do I really want to get married, or are all these a$$holes making me THINK I should be getting married just because they are?" and "Maybe I should brush my hair and train for a marathon." See? CRAZY THOUGHTS.

On Christmas night, I gave Geo his present. World's Biggest Duffle Bag from Patagonia. He'd been talking about for a week, and even emailed me a "Free 2-Day Shipping" thing from Patagonia. Needless to say, he knew what he was getting.

Then I got nervous. The only thing I told I him that I wanted was a pair of earrings I pinned on Pinterest. We discovered, however, that said earrings would set a dude back $5,400. I assumed I wasn't getting them. And I didn't.

But I was sitting on the couch and he handed me a Settlers of Catan game box. "I suck at wrapping, sorry. It's inside," he said. I opened the box and there was a jewelry box inside. A small one.

In that one breath where I truly, for the first time, thought he was going to propose, I found myself flummoxed. My heart literally skipped a beat and I threw up in my mouth...just a bit. Is this what I think it is? Am I excited about it? Am I supposed to cry or jump up and down? Why am I analyzing my emotions so much right now?!

He must have noticed something because too quickly he said "THEY'RE not the ones you wanted, but I think you'll like THEM." Inside, though, were some of the most gorgeous earrings ever. Diamonds! Silver! Just dangly enough! I loved them immediately.

So, yeah. Not a ring. Was it relief I felt? I don't know. But I do know I had a split second of relief to count myself as part of the jerkwads who were picking out linens and fonts and flowers. But relief? Is that really what happened? 'Cause that doesn't sound right.

That's when I decided that whatever emotional roller coaster I'm on is being driven by a bunch of Bridezillas, elopers and soon-to-be-Mr.-and-Mrs. crazy people.

Most of the Marrieds I know are happy. But many, many of the Engageds I know are no fun at ALL right now. Everything is "we" and they have bridal showers and cake eating and dress shopping crap to do. I'm too cranky, messy and clutzy to do ANY of those things yet. I know that. Geez.

Whatever happened in that hiccup of time was enough to leave me befuddled for weeks. I was SO excited, but all that other junk was, I don't know, a result of peer pressure maybe? I just said No to drugs, maybe this is another thing I need to say No to. That, or maybe I'll get hooked on the stuff the second try it.

I don't know. At this point, it's no man's land. I only know about 5 more people who aren't engaged, so I think this latest wave has passed. Let's hope so, because I'm really nervous that I'm going to just start defriending anyone else who takes the plunge. Do you want that to be you? I think not.

Okay, that's that. Wonderful Christmas, lovely family, momentary insanity. It's the trifecta...

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