Monday, December 5, 2011

Curly Sue

Let me paint a picture for you. My hair is as curly as uncooked Creamette spaghetti. Meaning: it is decidedly NOT curly. It lays flat on my tiny head and in the humid summer months, the split ends just frizz up and I look like a homeless (caveless?) cavewoman. That's as "curly" as it gets.

I've tried everything to have curly hair, short of getting a perm. I've used hot rollers, full cans of hairspray, small-barreled curling irons, large-barreled curling irons, a diffuser, curling gel, curling shampoo, curling prayers, everything. And if I manage to get the slightest wave in my hair, it falls flat the second I leave the bathroom. All that work for nathan...

Then Claire gifted me with some curlers (and by "gifted" I mean "she was going to give them away to Goodwill and I snagged them from the pile"). She's all "Oh yes, take them! They are miracle curlers! I got two sets, so you can take this one." So, I squirreled them away in my room with the other stuff I've gotten/stolen from Claire.

Last night, I got the urge to take 'em for a spin. My first impression when I opened them was "Oh. Ew. They're tampons."

Unsure, I quick showered and prepped my hair. Then I brought the "curlers" down to Claire to make sure I had the right package. She sighed and sat me down on the floor. "Tampons? Really, Pharon? Are you eight-years-old? Yes, Pharon. These are curlers. We'll put them in your hair and you'll wake up with curly hair."

Yeah, we'll see about that...

So Claire wraps my wet hair around all the tampons curlers. I looked at myself in the mirror when she was done and said "I look like an elderly Annie." But, I went to bed anyway. It took roughly 37 minutes for me to get in a comfortable position because I didn't want to smoosh the curlers. Sure the curlers are super soft and spongy, but the only thing worse than no curls is flat, misshapen curls. Amiright ladies!?

Cut to 6 1/2 hours later. I pried myself out of bed and distractedly checked my email before remembering the curlers. I was so excited I didn't even get up to put my contacts in. I blindly started to unravel the Tampax. I immediately deflated. My hair felt as light and fluffy as it had the day before. I went into the bathroom, put my contacts in, and screamed.

Over night, I had morphed into Jennifer Grey from Dirty Dancing. But, like, HOT. I jumped up and down with pure glee. And my hair bounced right along with me. It was even TOO curly. After I finished bopping around the bathroom, I realized that I almost looked like I had a wig on. I had to kind of tamper down the curl. I got it looking pretty Hollywood-ish when I realized "Don't get too attached to this hair, Pharon. These curls will be totally unraveled by the time you finish making your coffee."

But. It. Stayed. Curly.

Here's how my hair looked after a long day at work, a stressful trip to the car dealership and a long, drawn-out trip to Target. Also, it was freezing and windy all day which didn't help anything. But here it is:

STILL. CURLY. So yeah, Claire's miracle tampon curlers RULE. I will be doing them loads more. The only thing is that I think I got sick from sleeping with wet hair in a cold room. Whatever. Totally worth it.


Grandmman said...

Very, Very, GLAM!

cindi said...

WOW !!!!! dorbs !!!!

sarahabt said...