Monday, December 12, 2011


Man, living in a clean house is tough work. I knew I had to clean my stupes room tonight, because it was becoming a major eye sore. I kept my door closed for weeks so as not to offend my roommates with visions of dirty underwear, unopened mail, half-completed craft projects, shoes, shoes, and more shoes. Tonight I knew I had to do something about it. We are having company in a few days, after all (Geo!) and I don't want him to think I'm some sort of slob.

Oh wait. I lived with him for 3 years and we shared a kitchen and a bathroom. He knows all too well that I never fold or put away clean laundry, that I kick off my shoes wherever I decide to sit down, and that I'm a firm believer in letting dishes "soak"...a.k.a. set in the sink until someone else puts them away.

Anyway, so I knew I had to clean. I just didn't WANT to clean. At that moment, I had a totally awesome idea. I had to wait until juuuuuuuust the right moment, though. I was going to ask Claire to clean my room for me.

I know you're thinking "Uh, WHY would you think a bazillion years that your roommate would clean your room for you?" The answer, dear friends, lies in history.

See, Claire and I grew up next door to each other. She is a year younger than me, and therefore used to do everything I wanted her to. When I clogged our toilet with cotton balls, guess who reached her freckled hand in to pull them out for me? CLAIRE. When I lost my temper while we were building a snowman guess who I white-washed? CLAIRE.

And when my mom would forbid me from playing with Claire until my room was clean, guess who snuck over to my house to pick up all my clothes for me? CLAIRE. She may have cleaned my room more than I did. Meanwhile, I'd lay on my bed and direct her around. "That sweater goes in my closet. NO, Claire, FOLD IT!" "Um, I don't know where that book goes. Just throw it away." That was the life.

So tonight, I thought I'd give it a shot. I mean, she loves to clean, and I love to not clean. We're the perfect pair! It's like I'm doing her a favor. Before I got a chance to ask her, though, the neighbor came over to chat. I was wearing my trademark pink fleece, so I made a dash for the safety of my room before he could judge me. While I was holed up in there, I just sucked it up and cleaned.

I just told her I was going to ask her to clean my room for me earlier tonight, and she said "Oh God, I probably would have..."

However, she DID yell up to me at one point while I was cleaning "Hey, do you mind if I vacuum your stairs?" No, Claire, I don't mind at all. Now, could you come up here and take a look at my toilet?

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