Awkward Family Photos

Happy birthday to my totally awesome dad!! His birthday was yesterday, but we celebrated tonight with a nomnom family dinner. A totes lame thing happened while I was there, but I'll get to that in a second. My dad is the world's hardest person to shop for. He's got it all. I found something that I thought was actually kind of cool, a brew-your-own root beer making kit. I also got him card that read "Happy Birthday! Time to shave another llama!" and then on the inside it said something like "Or whatever you do in your culture." My dad was all "Uhhh..." Sometimes people don't get me.

But I love my dad heaps and loads and wish him the happiest of birthdays!!

So, okay. The lame thing. I go over to my parents house with my sick present and awkward card, and I walk in to see my sister Prinna and my mom working the computer. They were making the family Christmas card, and Prinna was all "Oh good! You're here." This can't be good.

This year, my enormous family wasn't all in the same room at the same time very often. And when we were, at least one of us was wearing sweatpants or had bad hair or something. Therefore: no cute photos were taken. So, what do you send out for a Christmas card when you have no picture? You put together a collage.

Our collage looks like this. The photos are arranged in the shape of a Christmas tree. At the top is my mom and dad. Underneath them is one of my sister Padrin and her husband and their two kids. Next to that is a picture of my sister Prinna and her husband and their three kids. Then came my brother Peter and his wife. Right before a picture of my brother Perek and HIS wife was...

A picture of me with my mom.

Wah waaaaaaaah...

Prinna was all "Sorry. What do you want to do?" I looked at the proposed layout. I studied it, thought about it, turned it around in my mind, and came up with a perfect solution. See, I didn't want people to think I am unaware that "one of these things is not like the other". I didn't want to try and trick people. I KNOW I'm the singleton on the Christmas card. I don't have another person to steal half the shot from me, so I wanted to take full advantage.

I had Prinna take the picture off of my mom and me - which WAS lovely, BTW - and replace it with a much more appropriate shot of me. It's me, and only me. At a tailgate in Iowa City. I've got a Hawkeye tattoo on my face and at least a couple beers in my system. Then, I have a nice, long strip of hair across my face. Right under my nose. That's right, people. In our fancy family Christmas card, here's the one I put in for me:

Yup. It's perfect. It says "Happy holiday! I'm funny and independent and would probably look great with a mustache."