Monday, June 13, 2011


So, I feel like I haven’t been really giving my all to this blog lately. I’ve been really distracted and crazy-emotional lately, which has been throwing me for nauseating loop-de-loops. This blogger is about to go through a transition, people, and I don't like it. Here’s what I’ve been obsessing over for weeks now.

You guys? Geo’s moving to Alabama. He got into Grad school down there and in like 6 weeks, he’ll be flying down there and STAYING there for 20 months. Here's the kicker. I won’t be. I’ll be moving into some new place here in Minneapolis. Obvs I’ve been like super bummed. Like, party-pooping bummed. I’m the most boring person in the world to talk to lately, because all I do is try and sneak everyone in to my Pity Party against their will. I suppose it’s important to say that, like, we’re not breaking up. Everything, besides this whole distance thing, is just peachy. But he wants to go get his learn on, and I don't exactly see myself making it in the deep south. So yeah, it's a stupid situation, but I'm just trying to be like "It'll be all good in our two completely different 'hoods."

It all started a while back. Geo wanted to go to grad school for Genetics and I was all “la la la, Yay! Do it! I’ll totes move wherever! Love! Puppies! Rainbows!” Then he got in to 3 schools. And he asked me which state I’D want to go to. Suddenly, I was like “Whoa, who said anything about moving?!” So I jotted down some notes listing the pros and cons of his two final choices, Alabama vs. Utah. Both places had many, MANY cons that included things like “No family there. No friends there. Where would I get my haircut? Have to get a new driver’s license.” As helpful as these were to ME, they didn’t give Geo too much to go on. But, long story short, he chose Alabama. (Oh, and his bro also goes to school down there. Geez, what IS it with Alabama?!)

Then something in me kicked in. Remember this post when I was freaking out about our future and whatnot? Yeah, at that point, I had decided that I’m definitely the kind of girl you want to lock down before making me do something I don’t want to do. I didn’t want to move, but if I had a little reminder on my left ring finger, I would probably be more pleasant about the temporary relocation. So, we tossed around the engagement idea. It wasn't the scariest thing ever, either. But still, I didn’t like the Alabama idea, though.

Then came all the logistics conversations. Over and over. When would we move? (Me: Never, hopefully.) WHAT would we move? ( Me: Nothing, let’s keep it all here and Geo can commute.) Will we NEED two cars? ( Me: Yes, otherwise how will Geo get around after I escape back to Minnesota?) And the kicker: Do we want roommates? ( Me: Oh hell to the no.) Geo had been floating around the idea of moving in with his brother and his brother’s girlfriend in Alabama to save some cash. My answer, between sobbing about already missing my parents and gleefully clicking through engagement ring websites, was a very strong No. I would not move down to Alabama to be Geo’s ROOMMATE again. I couldn’t justify leaving my whole support system to move into the exact same living scenario I’m in now, when all I really want to do is get going on the whole Next Step thing. The juice, as they say, wasn’t worth the squeeze.

Cut past like a zillion conversations where I’m sobbing uncontrollably and getting mad at Geo for having the gall to pursue higher education. Geo’s all “So, okay, I’m just confused. Are you mad at me? Sad? Why did you start crying when I made macaroni just now?” I am a big, sunburned puddle of emotions all the time. What was happening just kind of punched me in the face. I went from wondering if I COULD move, to thinking I was going to be engaged so that I WOULD move, to not liking the living situation and deciding I didn't WANT to move, and now searching craigslist constantly for a decent place I CAN move. My head hurts. It’s like the universe was all “Ha! You think you have stuff planned out? You feeling pretty comfortable Pharon? See how you like THIS, suckah!” And my script was totally flipped.

So, yeah, that’s where my mind is lately. That’s why I just haven’t been able to drum up a thoughtful, yet hilarious, post hating the person who decided bananas are so great.

And while I haven’t exactly been discreet about it (see HERE, HERE, and HERE for the clues), it doesn’t really do me any good to deny it anymore. I guess I just kind of kept hoping it was, like, NOT going to happen and it was just an elaborate way of planning a surprise party for me or something. It’s not. (RUDE!) We actually had the conversation of who gets to keep the Kinect (answer: I do – along with Geo’s giant TV which I assume will come in very handy when I need to negotiate something with him in the coming months).

So, I guess for now, the most important things to know are: Geo’s moving away for a little while, but I’m not. We’re not breaking up, but we’re not exactly getting engaged yet. And I get to keep his TV. But I’m not even sure where I’m going to put it yet. I know plenty of people who have had to make this type of situation work, so I guess it’s not all that uncommon. But it still sucks. And there is the short version (yeah, I know…definitely NOT short) of what’s going on.

Yeah, gross. I've had all that on my mind pretty much non-stop lately, so a couple blogs have been lame-o. Sorry, y'all! I'll be better. Now that this is all out there, I feel good about the upcoming blogs where I don't have to be all cryptic and can just come out and say "So, today I played the 'you're moving' card and got Geo to bring my car in for an oil change." Which I already did on Friday. Yay!


Grandmaman said...

What a downer of a blog!!! I know you are a survivor and all will be well.....soon, hopefully

Pharon Square said...

I didn't mean for it to be a downer! But sorry if it bummed you out. Just another way I'm sneaking you all in to my Pity Party!

I'm sure it'll all work out. However, that doesn't mean I won't complain about it non-stop until it DOES work out. :)

JessiferSeabs said...

1) I'm sorry. :-(

2) You're smart. I won't even move in with Mike in BLOOMINGTON without a reminder on my left finger. It sucks, but what I've learned in the past few years is that being a grown up is all about having to make unfun decisions.

3) I'm sorry. :-(

Anonymous said...

In this day and age with electronics having a long distance relationship is much easier than you think! Iphones, Ipads, Skype.
My two daughter both have them - right now!!! - Long distance relationships that is! Well plus the Iphones and Skype!
One daughter still has an ongoing relationship with her boyfriend in Germany - who is now traveling in India and Africa. (I refused to let her travel to THOSE places.) thanks to skype they talk and "SEE" each other almost daily. Although I have had to warn her about the dangers of having cybersex!
My other daughter just finished up almost a two year long distance stint - she in LA getting her Doctorate in PT and he in San Francisco. Happily with her return to SF this week he has since asked her to marry him! she got da ring!!!
I think what makes it work is when you have something to focus on - in this case they were both in school and working on their careers - it makes the time go by quite quickly. Time flies (or is it flys?) - I am sure you have heard of that one!!!
Being apart helped all of them focus on exactly they needed to do - their careers - and I have no question will make them better at what they do!
If it is meant to be that you will end up with Geo - it will happen despite being 20 months apart.

As for my son - who has a possibility of moving to Montana for a job - his girlfriend has an excellent job in Santa Barbara and they too will attempt a long distance relationship if that happens. Although I told him if he even thought about having her leave her job to come with him - he damn well better put a ring on her finger! actually he WOULD gladly put a ring on her finger IF he had a job and could afford a ring! LOL!
So good luck with your situation. Remember to Skype often and show him what he is missing! Just think of how much more work he can get done for school without you pestering him!!! Studying genetics is going to be pretty damn time consuming! He will in all likelihood appreciate that time.

Good Luck - and I am sure we will all be hearing about how it is working.
Hey maybe you could start a book on how to survive a long distance relationship!!!