Tuesday, June 14, 2011

He Ain't Heavy, He's My I.T. Guy

God bless the blogger Gods! My little brother Perek saw my little computer cry for help and jumped at the chance to make my PC more Mac-ish. He's an Apple freak, and is determined to make me just like him. So, he offered to come over tonight and hook my computer up with some rando new operating systems update that is "almost just like a Mac".

Cue: Me tuning out everything he tells me.

Perek kept talking about all these "apps" and crap that will work SOOO much better. He claimed it would be like having a new computer. All I wanted was for my computer to NOT shut down every night to "configure" itself. Perek assures me that I'm in the clear now. So far, so good.

Okay, so Perek comes over and gets to work on my computer. He keeps asking me crazy questions like "What do you use your computer for, other than blogging?" I'm all "Uh, nothing. Oh, wait, I put pictures on here and check Facebook." He's all "Well, you basically have nothing installed on here. Seriously, what do you even DO on your computer?" Rude! I do a LOT. Like blogging. And checking Facebook. And looking up funny videos about Sassy Gay Friends. And other very, very important things.

Perek was not impressed.

So, anyway, he's sitting at our dining room table trying to make my life easier, and all I can think about is peeking over his shoulder to see what he's doing. I have, like, this URGE to hang out over his head and spy on every keystroke. But he and I can't do that. We get physically angry when we try to help each other out, so I just hang out, on the other side of the table, talking incessantly to distract myself from the fact that I have zippo idea what Perek's doing to my computer. I know I just have to chill.

Ever since Perek and I were young, we have this very awkward "working together" relationship. When Perek would get frustrated with a writing assignment, I'd slip in the seat and take over (Sorry Jesus, but Perek's confirmation paper was ALL ME!) When I was ready to toss the computer against the wall because it was frozen, or broken, or giving me error after error, Perek would pop in to help. The problem was, with Perek leaning over my shoulder to help me, I'd get all sweaty and hot and frustrated because I had no idea what to do. So, in both cases, we'd just excuse ourselves and get busy playing Sonic the Hedgehog or something.

We just don't work together very well. We trust each other to just fix what needs fixing and leave the other one alone. I once asked Perek for his help building my IKEA desk, and after 5 minutes of trying to work with me, he got a "stomachache" and had to "go lie down". Until I finished building the desk. Which, by the way, I built awesomely and by myself.

He and I just don't have that natural "work together" thing going on. Tonight, I tried to offer helpful tips like "Wait, before you do that, you should probably change my desktop picture to the one of Geo and me like I had before". And he'd rub his forehead and try and tune me out while he was figuring out how to make this whole thing work. So, I'd try and offer MORE helpful tips, and eventually he was over it. He stopped responding to me altogether. I plopped down across the table from him with my glass of wine and just let him work his magic.

Meanwhile, it was very funny watching Geo try to balance the two of us. On the one hand, Perek, his best friend, is frustrated out of his mind with the chick trying to tell him what to do. On the other hand, his girlfriend is just trying to figure out what's going on. He was all uncomfortable and weird and didn't know who to support so he just played games on his iPad. I thought it was hilarious.

The moral of the story is my computer has not shut down ONCE since writing this blog. Whatever Perek did, it worked. And despite my constant interest in micro-managing his efforts, he somehow managed to just go ahead and fix everything. I'm pretty glad for that. I have a feeling that if had forced my way into the process, like I'm so inclined to do, my computer would have blown up by now. So thanks, bro!!!

1 comment:

Madeline Solien said...

2 things--

1) picturing Perek getting a "stomachache" and having to go lie down just made me snort

2) please put Perek in a box and ship him to me to fix my computer too. Or give him a train ticket. Whichever he prefers.

p.s. I just spent a long time figuring out whether to use "lie" or "lay" and I'm still not positive I'm correct. I'm happy to explain my reasoning for my choice if you're interested...let me know