Monday, May 21, 2012

I Work Out

I had my first solo kickboxing class tonight. Usually I go with a friend, Chandra, who keeps me motivated. She's also engaged and when one of us is slacking, the other will yell out "I will NOT get married in a long sleeved wedding dress!" Hooray! Motivation! So I was super bummed tonight when I found out she wasn't going to make it to the class. I briefly considered skipping it (I don't want to the only loser in class with no punching buddy!) but made myself go. I had some added motivation, though.

New workout clothes!

Most importantly, I got some new kicks. I'm almost embarrassed to admit how long I've had my other running shoes (rhymes with shmive schmears) and they still look pretty clean. They're old, though. So I got some new ones this weekend and then really got into Must Have New Workout Gear mode. So, natch, I went shopping for workout clothes. See, ladies ALLLLLL know this. Nothing encourages a new dedication to working out more than new duds. There is something very inspiring about cute new outfits.

Working out in the same black pants, same ratty t-shirts and same crappy sports bras is so, I don't know, UNINSPIRING. Plus, my workout gear is dangerously similar to my pajamas, so it doesn't really make me feel all energized to put on the exact same thing I woke up in.

Okay, so shopping. It's soooo fun! I grabbed a pair of cropped workout pants, some cute "active" shirts and other items designed to keep everything in place while I flop around in a workout studio. I was feeling confident. Excited, even! I didn't even try them on! I was all "These will look amazeballs and make me super fit in no time!"

So tonight, I got all ready for class. I was pretty stoked that everything did, in fact, "fit." However, I failed to give myself the once over in the mirror before braiding my hair and grabbing my boxing gloves. (Million Dollar Baby's got nothin' on me.)

See, the worst part of working out in a studio is that all the walls are mirrors. And because I hadn't taken 3 1/2 seconds to look in my own, I - and everyone else - was assaulted with my new "look". One? My braids were super lopsided and two giant strands were sticking straight upwards. Cool, nerd. Then came the outfit.

First, I had on the new cropped pants on that were incredibly unflattering. Claire keeps telling me I have to stop wearing giant pants. I did not take her advice. So I had on short pants that were somehow wide-legged. Basically, I looked like I was missing the middle section of my legs. All thighs and ankles. HOT! #nothot

The pants went perfectly with, well, anything EXCEPT the shirt I was wearing. It was a long white tank with some pink design on one side. The long tank and the odd-lengthed (is that a word?) pants/shorts made me look like my torso was 100 yards long. Every girl wants short stub legs and a midsection that goes on for DAYS, right?! Sigh.

Oh, did I mention the shirt was totally see through too? Double sigh.

I was a hot mess. I was so mad at myself that when we were practicing the punches in the mirror, I considered ACTUALLY punching myself in the face. The worst part was that I managed to get an extra fierce workout in because, you know - even though they were ugly, still...NEW CLOTHES. But because I had actually worked up a serious sweat, I pretty much ruined my chances to return the clothes. (Right? I mean, I can't return them, can I? Or CAN I?, I don't...maybe? Nah.)

Anyhoozle, I guess my only option is to do some more shopping. Notes to self: No giant pants. Try on clothes. Keep tags on.

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