Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Hours of Suckeration

Dear Geniuses of the Business World,
You guys suck. You are losing business and bajillions of dollars by being all colonial and rude. Allow me to elaborate...

If you are in a business that relies on business from people who are EMPLOYED, you CANNOT CLOSE AT 5 P.M. If you are an oil changing place, a doctor's office, or, I don't know, a wedding venue, or an apartment complex, STAY OPEN LONG ENOUGH FOR YOUR CLIENTS TO COME BY.

Listen, TARGET gets it. Even Shane Co. gets it (open weekdays 'til 8). They stay open late enough for people to come on by without having to take 1/2 day off work just to run errands. People need to do things. But people ALSO need to have a job so they can afford to do said things. All these service places have it backwards.

Okay, so in case you haven't noticed, I'm stressed out. I'm trying to schedule visits to apartments, but no one is available after 4:30. Well, guess what - if you want me to be able to PAY for your crazy-expensive hole in the wall, you better stop expecting me to take time off work to come look at your stupid building. I'm sure it's lovely, but I'm betting it's going to be just as lovely after 5 p.m.

Not to mention the fact that I'm trying to visit restaurants and hotels and events centers and whatnot to see if I we should have a wedding there. WHY ARE YOU CLOSING AT 4:30!? Again, if you want people who can PAY for your venue - oh, and then be able to have enough vacation days left to HAVE A WEDDING - start being available a little later at night.

If I were smart, and I'm not, but if I were and I owned a business that relied on outside customers, I would open at noon (just in time for the lunch-break-errand-runners) and stay open until at least 8 p.m. Then everyone would be all happy and not stressed about having to take time off work.

Here's a list of places that need to switch their hours to cater to their clientele: doctor's office, dentists, salons, apartment complex owners, wedding venues, car shops, eye doctors, mortgage offices, furnace repair people, plumbers, veterinarians, interior designers, therapists, lawyers, people who deliver packages that require signatures and banks without online banking.

Here's a list of places that can keep regular hours (besides companies who work with OTHER companies who work regular hours): banks who have online banking, unemployment offices. That's it. 

So, yeah, can you guys cut us workin' folks some slack and stay open a little longer? Honestly, how many more people would visit the dentist regularly if it didn't require time off work and included maybe a happy hour martini? The answer is LOADS. Wouldn't everyone feel much happier if they could work a full day, swing by the dentist on the way home, have dinner and then get a haircut before bed? Who WOULDN'T love that?

In closing, I'm sorry. I'm totally distracted and frustrated that I can't get anything done on MY time. Then these people email me all day during MY work day. What am I supposed to do? I'm BUSY. I'm FOCUSED. I'm makin' money and accumulating PTO all so I can spend money and time buying stuff FROM THEM.

I'm no business major (I'm BARELY an English major), but I would think that all my customers would LOVE me if they didn't need to take work off to come and see me. Geez. It's not rocket science. Oh, and I guess rocket scientists can close up shop at 5. Ain't no one doing physics after hours...


Madeline Solien said...

Dude, I totally get it...there is a cupcake shop in Highland Park that is only open until 6p.m. Mon-Saturday and 5p.m. on Sunday! Don't you figure that people want cupcakes after dinner?? Especially on a Saturday night after they've gone out for dinner?? Add cupcake stores to your list! (side note- this has probably saved me from consuming 1 million calories..it's like they care about my bikini status)

JessiferSeabs said...

I think that's how people end up hiring wedding planners to run around town and weed places / things out for you, and then only bring you to the BEST ones. But I wanted to do all that myself. Not sure how we got that done in 90 days with both of us worki-- oh yeah, we only looked at one venue, and booked it on teh spot. ;-)