They're Just Jealous

In my line of work, I spend a lot of time reading weird articles. Okay, fine. In my spare time, I spent time reading weird articles too. But remember that post I wrote last week about how the Internet was making me stabby? I thought I was over it.

Then Samantha Brick came into the webosphere.

For those who prefer not to read the long, drawn-out ridiculousness that is Ms. Brick, allow me to summarize. Some lady wrote an article about how beautiful she is. While I would typically applaud these self-appreciating tributes, this one was BONKERS.

She blames everything - EVERYTHING! - on her looks. Her female bosses hate her because she's too pretty. Other women hate her because she's too pretty. People give her free stuff ALL THE TIME because she's the most beautiful thing in the universe. Except she's not.

Cue: Internet Backlash

People EVERYWHERE are writing about ridic this woman is. The vanity! The gall! Puh, she's not even THAT PRETTY! I even read an article about what a bunch of doctors in Orange County would do to MAKE her pretty.

Here are my thoughts. When we were young, my little brother got a teeny bit spoiled. The last of five kids and utterly adorable, the kid was one cheek-pinch away from a Gerber commercial. People naturally loved him. When he'd get something special, such as the easiest chore in the world after dinner (pushing in the kitchen chairs), all the rest of us kids would moan and groan. My mom always said the same thing: "Oh Perek, they're just jealous."

But we WEREN'T jealous (all the time). We were annoyed that the same courtesies were not extended to us. And we were angry at the smugness of that little Gerber jerk. Luckily for Perek (and his wife), he didn't go the way of Samantha Brick. He didn't grow up assuming that everyone who expressed any sort of displeasure, annoyance or hatred towards him was simply JEALOUS of him. No, he grew up to be an awesome dude.

Here's the thing. Something in Samantha Brick's twisted mind still believes that everyone is "just jealous" of her. Could it be that people don't like her because - gasp! - she's VAIN and SELF INVOLVED? Do bosses not like her because she is, oh I don't know, BAD AT HER JOB? And is it POSSIBLE that men buy her drinks and flowers because they are MEN and they MEN DO THAT? (I mean, come on. Were these super hot, eligible bachelors? I doubt it. My guess is they were average dudes thinking they had a chance with an average chick and wanted to be nice. How DARE they!)

My own annoyance at this article is not that a woman thinks she's pretty. I WISH more women would have more self confidence and less competition with other women. But this lady is ruining it for the rest of us. She, in fact, set us all back a few decades by putting all her worth in her appearance. I'm worried that instead of being confident and feeling beautiful, women may now be too afraid of "pulling a Brick" that any expression of self-appreciation will be avoided.

So the woman is completely conceited. And while it's totally commendable that she takes care of herself, she now needs to learn how to GET OVER HERSELF. (The MOST ANNOYING PART of all this is that she will likely take this outrage, this volatile level of disagreement, as further evidence that people hate her because of her looks. Sorry, Lady Brick. I don't hate you because you're beautiful or I'm jealous. I hate you because you make womenkind look bad.)