Oh. Mah. Gah. I was in the company of someone who knows famous people.
I went to have some sushi, wine and good times with my loverly pals Valerie and Lana. Val brought her friend who is a straight up hilarious dude with HOLLYWOOD connections, apparently. I had a great time conversating but realized too quickly that I had exhausted my "regular people" material and started stealing some from my favorite comedians, as I am known to do.
I was quoting Sarah Silverman before the second round came. While I would have been perfectly content stealing material from my favorite comedians and passing it off as my own, I only got so far before Val's pal called me out.
"Hey, isn't that a James Adomian bit?"
Yipes. A comedy know-it-all. Well, there goes the rest of my
Well, not only did he KNOW of the podcast, he actually KNEW THE PEOPLE ON IT. Immediately, my face flushed red and I almost returned all the nigiri muki naki or whatever I had just eaten. I fancy myself something of a comedy savant. I am the one who is a fan of EVERY COMEDIAN before they come out with a hilarious show or movie. And now, I was in the position to prove it.
I tried to impress my new best friend and spit out minutes of material I had stolen from successful comedians. It was like I was bulimic with bits. I couldn't stop myself. I knew, at about my third impression of someone else doing an impression, that I was an official Fan Girl.
Guess what! No one likes a Fan Girl. I may have come off as more of a deranged stalker than a fan.
Listen, in my defense, I'm crazy. (That's a defense, right?!) I listened to the WTF podcast when Todd Glass came out. I know what projects Jessica St. Clair is involved in. I know that Carlos Mencia steals material. I am embarrassingly well-versed in the lives of comedians.
So all of a sudden, I was in the presence of someone who could appreciate it. When he mentioned Melissa McCarthy, I nearly fainted, but I didn't. I played it cool and just smiled, nodding at the possibility of meeting her. Was I drooling? Yes. I am pretty sure I came out looking good. Except when I told him how I acted like a total boob (hehe!) when I saw local comedian Nick Swardson walking down the street. Instead of regaling the comedian with compliments revolving around my favorite things he does, I just gaped and slowly passed by him, staring. COOL.
I decided tonight that I am ill-equipped to meet anyone I idolize. I'd rather bump into Jennifer Aniston than Melissa McCarthy or Scott Aukerman. With Ms. Aniston, I'd be all "Be cool, Pharon." But with Ms. McCarthy or Hot Saucerman (CBB fans you know what I mean), I'd be all "HERE ARE 100 IMITATIONS OF THE THINGS YOU DO!!!!" Who wants to run into THAT girl?
In closing, I would like to encourage you all to listen to the Comedy Bang Bang podcast and get even the tiniest taste of my idols. If, for some reason, you don't think it's funny, I'll give you your money back. Or, you know, try and make fun of you...
Have a hilarious weekend, everyone!!!