So, without further delay: Here are this week's questions from my you: my lovely, lovely Squares!
No time to explain, but I double booked dates for Friday night. I like both guys! HELP ME!
Okay, Double Time,
(Why does everyone ask me for 'excuses on how to get out of something'? Am I flaky?! No, no. That's impossible. Moving on...) Here's what you do. RESCHEDULE ONE. Don't try and Sit Com your way out of this. Meaning: Don't try and make both dates work, because obvs that never works, and you'll end up single. Twice. In one night. So just buck up and cancel one. You don't have to go into loads of deets, but just be like "I'm SO sorry, but is there any way we can reschedule for [insert alternative AWESOME plan here]?" If he asks for more details, whoops! You're in a tunnel or basement or bomb shelter or something and can't hear him anymore. Finish the rest over text, and proceed to enjoy both dates on separate nights.
I'm trying to really get into volunteering. Any suggestions for where to start? I'm not a huge fan of kids, or babies, or sick people, or pets, or gross things though. Ideas?
Dear Helping Hand,
Okay, so I don't know how to help you. Sure your heart's in the right place with wanting to volunteer, but you seem to not like most things. Therefore, I think your only volunteering options are in the Meals on Wheels or maybe gift wrapping industries, or maybe you could hand out flyers at busy downtown intersections. You could also maybe, um, go around doing random people's yard work or something. I don't know. Maybe volunteering isn't for you, though. Here's an idea. Instead of donating your TIME to a cause, donate MONEY. Then
So, I'm going to get a tattoo! I'm so completely excited! Problem is, everyone is making fun of what I want to get. I want to get a tiny Smurfette on my hip. I love Smurfette! Is there anything wrong with it? Honestly?!
-Tattooed and Confused
Here's some real quick advice (sorry, this suitcase ain't gonna pack itself with tons and tons of crap). Do not get a cartoon character tattoo. DO NOT. I don't know ANYone who hasn't regretted the decision to get a silly (albeit beloved) animated character permanently stained into their bodies. Listen, I love Smurfette as much as the next guy. But trust that it's going to look stupid in 10 years. Heck, it'll probably look stupid in 10 months no matter HOW old you are. I say hold off on the tattoo until you have something important enough or just cool enough to inject into your skin. Because my dear, dear Square, cartoon tattoos are just...well, don't take this the wrong way...but they are dumb. See here. Yeah, so my advice is DO NOT DO IT.
How'd I do this week? I'm kind of rushing, so fill in whatever I missed in the comments. Aight? Aight. Okay, so next week when you need some help, which I'm sure you'll need, shoot your inquiry to firstname.lastname@example.org and I'll make everything all good in the 'hood. Cool? COOL!