Sunday, June 3, 2012

Bag Lady

I have a problem. Despite HOURS of packing and cleaning this weekend, I seemed to have missed the point. I took a break from throwing away loads of stuff while packing to go out to the mall to Buy More Things. Stupid stuff, too. (I'm not a millionaire, so my shopping sprees are limited to the Dollar Tree and whatever kiosk strikes my fancy in the mall.)

A periodic shopping spree of makeup and accessories and shoes wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't just spent literally HOURS throwing away ridiculous amounts of makeup, accessories and shoes I have accumulated through the years.

See, while Geo hung out watching TV, he listened as I grunted and sighed in my closet going through a bunch of boxes I had forgotten about. I was unpacking boxes from last year and would then just throw all that crap away. Suddenly, I burst out laughing and carried a box into my room. Geo's all "What's so funny?" And I'm all "I should be embarrassed to show you this, but whatever."

I opened the box and found...bags. A whole box of bags. Sure, there were also a few hair ties, a couple, eh hem feminine products, and a thing of vitamins that expired in 2010. But mostly, it was a substantially large moving box full of tote and shoulder bags.

Geo called me a  hoarder. Rude.

I then opened one of the bags inside the box and found like 50 travel-sized shampoos, conditioners, lotions and bars of soap. They were from Puerto Vallarta, which I haven't been to in like 3 years.

Ohmygod, I AM a hoarder.

So, to deal with the anxiety of learning of my hoarding, I went shopping. What can I say? The urge to buy shoes and a giant gold costume watch beat out the embarrassment of my box of bags of toiletries.

Oh sweet gravy, and then I just found this.

THAT, my friends, is a BAG OF BAGS. Not even like cloth totes or backpacks. Nope. Just one shopping bag full of other shopping bags. It's hard to show how impressive - or, well, I guess it's UNimpressive - the stack of bags actually is. But trust that there are plenty of mementos from my mall escapades. And hey! Three of those bags are new additions from this weekend...Ugh. You're right. You're all right. I'll throw them away with everything else. 

It's not like I can't just start a new stack this weekend...I have to do plenty of shopping for the new pad! IKEA, The Container Store, Home Depot? Yay! Not to mention the inevitable DSW bag I'll have because I needed to get some cute new Moving Day shoes. You can't hoard in any ol' shoes.

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