Well, here we are. Hump Day, as they say. I've gotten a few questions this week that will hopefully make you feel better about yourselves and take you straight through to the weekend. Let's see what we've got...
My boyfriend - well, ex-boyfriend I guess - broke up with me like 6 months ago. How long do you think it takes until I'll stop being so sad?? My friends say it takes half the time of the duration of a relationship to get over it. But I dated my boyfriend for almost a year, and I just haven't gotten over it. Is something wrong with me?
Adele's Got Nothin' On Me
Oh boy, AGNOM,
There is no equation. There is no math that will guarantee when you will not be so sad about breaking up with someone. Yet ANOTHER way math has failed me in my everyday life. Sometimes it takes years, other times it takes minutes. It all depends on the relationship. But, I'll tell you this: You'll get over it. Eventually, and on your own time. I could spit out cliches like "He obviously isn't good enough for you if he couldn't appreciate you!" And while that may be true, it's nothing but lip service. Here's the truth: It sucks to get dumped. It hurts your feelings and it takes all your power away. But, it's not the end of the world. Eventually, you'll meet someone else. And if you don't? You'll just get 100 cats. The point is: There are bigger things headed your way.
My friend just totally blew me off for like the 100th time. She makes happy hour plans and then bails. She promises me that she's got a guy for me to date, and then nothing ever materializes. Most recently, she said she'd hire me as a Freelancer for a project she's working on, and then didn't tell me that the project had fallen through until like 3 days after I had prepped the presentation. What do I do?
With Friends Like These...
Um, it sounds like you've been duped. You know that saying "Once bitten, twice shy"? Or even "First time, shame on you. Second time, shame on me"? Yeah, you should probably have learned your lesson the first 99 times it happened. You, my friend, are in the presence of a bail artist. I say, check out now. Stop taking her word at face value and make your own magic happen. In the end, who can we count on if not ourselves? My advice? Find your OWN man. Get your OWN job. Make your OWN happy hour (and don't invite her). Then your fun and your success will be yours, and yours alone.
You're getting married, right? I'm freaking out! I've got 9 months until my wedding, and I am so intensely overwhelmed that I can't even think straight. Every day at work, I'm distracted by venues, dresses, colors and favors. And how am I supposed to know what I want the DJ to play in NINE MONTHS? I don't even know if people will still LIKE Carly Rae Jepsen! Any advice??
Blushing - and FUMING - Bride
Did you crawl inside my head? Are you my subconscious? Yes, I'm getting married, and I too am freaking out. Um, if I'm not mistaken, aren't weddings supposed to fun and wonderful? So far, they are NOT fun and whatever the opposite of wonderful is. I hear ya, sista. Planning a wedding is nothing like they make it look like in the movies. Also? I'm not a Bridezilla, so I can't even check in to TLC to see what to expect. Girls like us, BAFB, are regular people who just want an awesome ceremony and party. Unfortunately, everyone else has their OWN ideas of what "your day" looks like. So, we've got 100 opinions and, likely, zero help from the groom-to-be, so we're responsible for making or breaking this thing. Here's really the only thing I can tell you, because I tell myself this every time something ruins my plans: Your wedding day is about getting married. It's about promising to spend the rest of your life with someone - or, you know, at least until you divorce. It's about seeing your crazy family hang with your crazy friends. Whatever they are wearing, and wherever and whenever they are partying, the day, ultimately, is about you and the guy you claim to be in love with. Yes, it should be nice and pretty and whatever. But after whatever awesome or $hitty party you throw, you'll still be married to that lug nut who wooed you in the first place.
OMG. Heavy stuff, guys. HEAVY STUFF. Let's try to lighten it up next week, shall we? Actually, next Wednesday is the 4th of July. I may or may not be celebrating my freedom or fireworks or whatever, so let's aim for two weeks from now for the Dear Crabby questions, aight???