Tuesday, February 21, 2012

The Twilight Zone (Now with more full moons!)

It was a strange, strange day in the Pharon Square household. It was Magazine Day. My roommates and I love us some glossy pages, so we each have our little niche 'zines. Andrew gets golf and lawyer magazines, Claire gets health and decor mags, and I get InStyle and Entertainment Weekly. Today, the stars aligned and almost all of them came in the mail. So, we had roughly 10 pretty little packages waiting for us when we got home.

A week or so ago, something weird happened. I found myself flipping through Newsweek. I didn't understand 95 percent of what was going on all those pages. I absent-mindedly continued "reading" and when Claire came in the room and she was all "Oh, sorry, I borrowed your Newsweek." I was all "Uh, no. This is the lamest, horriblest mag in the world. It's not mine." She's all "Hey, Einstein, check the label."

To: Pharon

Say whaaaaaaaaaaat? I NEVER subscribed to this snorefest. I figured it was a fluke and minded my beeswax.

Then, it came again today. To my attention. What the H is going on? I thought I was the only one experiencing this Random Act of Magazines, but then....THEN:

Buried between Ladies Home Journal and Better Homes and Gardens was an issue of Playboy.

Claire screamed when she took off the white cardboard shield only to discover a naked booty. "ANDREW! DID YOU SUBSCRIBE TO PLAYBOY?" Andrew, currently engrossed in his shiny, new issue of Golf Digest barely flinched. "No. I would not subscribe to that." Check the label, Einstein.

To: Claire

What is going ON?! I started randomly getting the World's Most Boring Magazine and CLAIRE gets the Playboy?! Clearly whoever is comping us these subscriptions does NOT know their audience. Claire is a smart, sophisticated lawyer. I am the free-spirit liberal who only reads everything for the articles. How could such a mistake have been made?!

At any rate, Claire tries to explain to me the articles in Newsweek and I'll retort with something like "HA! This chick says that she wants to be the author of a children's book! Okay, honey...nice boobs, by the way!" We teach each other things. She tries to encourage me to read a story about economics, I try and tell her that not only is there an interview with Paul Krugman AND David Cross in Playboy, I have discovered it's also SUPER transparent that the centerfold claims to love the book Geek Love when Katherine Dunn has written an article in the VERY SAME ISSUE (Spoiler Alert: Katherine Dunn WROTE Geek Love).

Anyhoozle, so now we've got plenty of reading materials to get us through the week. Whoever the magic Magazine Godmother is who bestowed these riches upon our household, I thank thee...

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