The Award for the Worst Sister Ever Goes To...

...ME! Yay! Congratulations to me! I'd like to thank everyone who made my Worst Sister Ever status happen. First, I'd like to thank myself, for being such an idiot procrastinator with the attention span of a maggot on poop.

I can't believe I won this award! I mean, I'd like to think that previous spaciness would have surely garnered me a nomination, but to WIN it? I'm so...I don't know. Then again, I'd be lying if I said that I didn't deserve this award.

(See, it was both my sister Padrin's and her son Gus' birthdays yesterday. Double whammy! I, being the total a-hole that I am, completely neglected to call either one of them to regale them with a lovely song and well wishes. This neglect is doubly hard to achieve, given they have the SAME PHONE NUMBER.)

I'd like to thank all the people who voted for me. Everyone who agreed that I am, in fact, a crappy sister and aunt. I have done things before that I thought were lame enough to warrant this award, but it is only tonight I truly feel that I earned this.

There were so many obstacles in my way, and I really surprised myself with superior level of thoughtlessness. I spent time posting on my sister's Facebook wall - using my phone, might I add - and thought to myself, "Hey, Self. Gus doesn't have a FB wall. How will he know that you wish him a great year? Let's give them a call." Then I remembered that I had a voicemail I had to listen to from the day before, so I was all "Self, you better check that message first."

The message was all "Pharon, you better pay your phone bill." So I did that, and put my phone back in my purse. Already forgetting to call Padrin or Gus.

It is never easy working at such a thankless job. I got no praise for this achievement. No one was proud of me for forgetting to call my sister and nephew. And I'll tell you what: Even I was horrified when I learned what I had done...or not done.

At the end of the day, I guess I have no one to thank (read: blame) but myself. So, I guess thanks for the award. I feel awesome about it...I truly hope I never win this again.

In all seriousness, I know that it may be too little too late, but it also might be Better Late Than Never, so here's what I wish I would have called and said yesterday:

To Gus: DUDE! That Death Star lego thing you got looks AWESOME! Geo is REALLY jealous! I can't wait to see what it looks like when it's done! Are you having a party with your friends? How does it feel to be 9 years old? Have you found any grey hairs yet?!

To Padrin: HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Are you spoiling yourself with some nomnom cake?! Did you get to do anything special today? You should play a Spanish Happy Birthday song at your next Zumba class! Anyway, I hope you have a SUPER FUN birthday!!! And I hope none of your siblings ruins it by being a d-bag and not calling!