MY Party Anthem

So, today at work while I was type-typing away, I was listening to Pandora. I was bopping around from Eminem to Ellie Goulding stations until I landed on my Party Rock station. I never work harder than when I'm fighting the urge to get up and do the Double Dig 'Em on my desk. But, the songs - while very catchy - are terrible. The words are bad. The story is non-existent. So! I'm going write my own party rock anthem. There is no discernible tune, so just use your imagination.

Pharon's Party Rock Song: Take Your Pants Off (And Switch 'Em for Fleece)

It's cold! (Cold!) And I'm hot! (HOT!)
I'm everything your boring girlfriend's not! (NOT!)
I drink! (Drink!) And do shots! (SHOTS!)
And I'm wearing fleece pants that I bought! (BOUGHT!)

Let's go out, guys, or stay in!
Bars are too expensive, and I've got cheap gin,
Dance Central! Begin!
I got mad skills and you're too thin.

Let's rock! (ROCK!) Not too much! (MUCH!)
You can check my sweatshirt out, but you can't touch! (TOUCH!)

I drink wine! (WINE!) From a box! (BOX!)
No entrance to this party with your Crocs! (CROCS!)

Now listen up jerks, 'cause it's listenin' time,
I only drink vodka with a little squirt of lime.
And if you try to step up, if you try to flirt...I'm....
Gonna mess your rep in a victimless crime.

They say my party's whack and I got no clout,
I say I'll see you in the Title Bout!
I don't play nice, I don't work out,
I'm the coolest chick ever, no doubt!

Let's rock! (ROCK!) But not too much! (MUCH!)
You can check my sweatshirt out, but you can't touch! (TOUCH!)

I drink wine! (WINE!) From a box! (BOX!)
No entrance to this party with your Crocs! (CROCS!)

[Bridge, sung by probably Nicki Minaj]
Now my roommates are upstairs and they're tryin' to sleep,
So when you go up to there to pee make sure you creep.
Not a peep...
Not a peep...
Not an eeny weeny mutha&#($**# peep...

Now let's rock! (ROCK!) And be cool! (COOL!)
Let's dance! (DANCE!) And then drool! (DROOL!?)
I rock hard (HARD!) And I'm hot! (HOT!)
I got the best party anthem in the spot! (THE SPOT!)

[Fade out]
The spot...
The spot...
Pull up your fleece socks and let's rock...
Let's rock...
Then take a nap...
Take a nap...
Take a super long post-party nap...