SHAZBOT! I'm bummed, guys. So, you know how I'm constantly craving attention, and yet hilariously terrified of the spotlight? Yeah, I'm an enigma.
So okay, I called my mom tonight to chat about our days. I was all "La la la, I sent my first work email today! I had a caesar wrap for lunch! Claire found the Girl Talk board game at a Salvation Army and I'm completely stoked to play it!" Then I asked her, almost as an afterthought, "So what are YOU up to?" And she's all "La la la, just you know, getting the house ready for Thursday."
Wait, what's Thursday?
No biggie, my mom and sister are just going to be ON TV. I wanted to squeal "Exsqueeze me? You? On TV? WITHOUT MOI?!"
I tried to not sound depressingly disappointed when I asked "Why are YOU guys going to be on TV? And why don't you love me enough anymore to ask me?" So smooth...
Turns out, my mom and sisters are going to be on the ol' cathode ray tube because they are caaaaarazy into Black Friday. You know, the day after Thanksgiving when everyone loses their minds and goes to the mall at 3 a.m. to shop for great deals on fake snow? Yeah. Well, my mom and sisters go shopping every year. There are threats of trampling, parking conundrums, and the ever-present menacing women who are out to STEAL your CART.
I have stayed home every year they do this. I snooze away while they shop, and then babysit when all us normal people wake up. It's like our thing. Then they get asked to be interviewed on TV about how they are "the experts" at Black Friday, but did they even ASK me to come and be on TV with them? What, so just because I don't ACTUALLY SHOP WITH THEM I can't be involved in the spot they are doing on Black Friday shopping? SO RUDE.
The kicker is that my two sisters-in-law are GOING TO BE ON WITH THEM. They haven't gone Black Friday shopping either. But the two of them are thinking of giving it a shot this year. (HA! Good luck, ladies. I have a feeling you have no idea what you're in for.) Apparently, my mom and sisters are going to give the n00bs some tips on a successful Black Friday. Again, ON TV.
I know, I know. You're all "But Pharon, you are horribly uncomfortable and spazzy and about as entertaining as soggy toast on TV. Why do you care?" I care, dear friends, because I'm not included. YES, I will be too busy at my crazy-fun new job. And YES I probably would have been all "no thanks!" HAD they asked me. And okay, fine, so WHAT if I technically have no place in the Black Friday conversation because I simply refer to it as "Friday"?
Maybe it's because I'm not a part of something that is going to give a lot of other people some attention. And for SHOPPING! And me not being even remotely involved in the combination of those two things just feels...wrong. Right? Well, in any case, I hope they have fun and have a great time. For realsies, I do. I just hope they drop my name somehow. Something like "Well, our daughter/sister Pharon - who has a wicked successful blog called pharonsquare.com - is kind of the reason we can do this because she babysits our kids." Then I'll get the recognition WITHOUT the debilitating stage fright. YAY! Everyone wins!