Marriage is serious bidness, guys. My parents have been happily married for, like forty years. They've been dirt poor, suffered through loss of loved ones together, and raised five miserable little rugrats. (That's me! Yay!) I don't know the dirty deets of whether or not they've ever considered the big D, but so far they've been poster children of the kind of marriage I'd like to have someday. But something tells me that little miss Kardashian didn't think about the MARRIAGE when she she decided to have the WEDDING. On TV.
It's totally annoying lately. There are loads of people who have been together forevs but aren't "allowed" to be married. And then all these people are all "La la la, a marriage is soooooooooo trendy right now! I must have one!" Sheesh, it's a marriage, people, not a tiny dog you shove inside your handbag.
I would really like to enforce some rules with Hollywood marriages. If we, as a country, are sooooo against an entire population of people who want to spend the rest of their lives together, we need to make some stipulations for those who refuse to take the whole thing seriously.
First? A celebrity couple must not have starred in any movie or TV show together, unless they have been dating for over 2 years since the culmination of that project. Second, unless you are Khloe, the "Kardashian" name prohibits you from getting hitched. (What can I say? I love me some Khloe. She's brassy, sassy, and she knows what she wants.) Third, if a star is at the height of popularity, the other party must go through intense psychological training in order to deal with the inevitable demise of their partners career. And finally, if you televise your wedding, anyone who wants to attend...CAN. Yes, that means stalkers, psychos, haters, everyone. Because if your "fans" can't come to the wedding, you don't deserve to have one.
I do give props to famous couples like Ashton and Demi, though. They gave it the ol' college try (Hey! Ashton went to MY college!) But
But to the dumba$$ Kim Kardashian, I can only hope that at the VERY LEAST you get out there and actively support those who want to get married and can't. You've done more damage to the institution than anyone else ever could.
Oh, and one more thing for Kim. Um, I could have told you that marrying Kris Humphries wouldn't work. I have it on good authority (a.k.a a girl in my book club who went to high school with the Humphries) that Kris is soggy-bread-boresville and his sister is, like, TOOOOOOTALLY a word that rhymes with witch! Kim could never fit in with that kind of family. You know, 'cause they're NORMAL.
Maybe let's just say that celebrities shouldn't get married. Unless it's Matt Damon or Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck, because those people are really making it work. But seriously restricting Hollywood nuptials is something I would support. It would save loads of time and money for everyone. I would be sooooooo annoyed if I had to be friends with Kim Kardashian or Jennifer Lopez or Larry King because it would be SO expensive to buy them all those dumb presents, and I'd have to keep going to weddings on weekends when I'd rather be clipping my toenails in bed.
The moral of the story is many celebrities are idiots. People like Kim Kardashian take big poops on the institution of marriage, and it's just so...passe. So if we are going to stop ANYone from getting married, it should be fame-hungry celebrities. Sound good?