Nothing freaks me out like a "harmless" comment like "Hey, Pharon...I have a touchy question for you." That's the message I got from my sister Prinna on Facebook chat. Now, I still have no idea what Prinna wanted to ask me, because when she chatted me, I was very busy playing Family Feud on my phone in the other room. By the time I came back and saw the "I have a touchy question for you" prompt, Prinna had signed off, and my imagination decided to run away with itself.
For the past half hour, I've been spinning around in my computer chair, trying to write about the zillions of other interesting things that happened today (read: none) and all I can think of is "What would be a touchy question for me?!"
She could ask something like "So, you know how instead of losing a bunch of weight when Geo moved away, you actually gained weight because you are eating your feelings and your feelings appear to be made out of red velvet cake and bricks of cheese?" I mean, yeah, that's probably "touchy" for me, but it certainly doesn't warrant a big build-up, you know? I wrote a whole blog about the undesirable physical journey my thighs are on for crying out loud.
Then I wondered if she was going to ask me "Did you know most women your age have families and husbands and whatnot?" Nah. That can't be it. Touchy, yes, but not something a normal person asks another slightly-less normal person.
Hmm. What am I touchy about?! What could she ask me that would shake me like this? I don't know what it is, but it feels like I've just been given a pop quiz, and if there's anything I'm awesome at...it's not pop quizzes.
Maybe she's going to intervene on my insistence on buying shoes in the children's section. Yesterday, we were at the mall, and I bought children's moccasins because they were like $14 and fit like a dream. I thought it was awesome. Maybe she thought I'm delusional or something. Maybe I think it's "cute" and she thinks it's "pathetic". It's not like I'm buying SHIRTS in the children's section though.
I texted her like 3 times pleading "What's the question?? I'm really nervous..." And still have not heard back.
I ran through some of my recent blogs, searching for anything I may have written that could be misconstrued as offensive or something. I even searched the word "Prinna". Turns out, she pops up a lot because I hang out with her so often. I was breezing through all these blogs - a wonderful reminder that I still think I'm very hilarious - and couldn't find anything. Nothing feels worse than the potential of inadvertently hurting someone's feelings via blog. But I found nothing. (There are a number of people who probably SHOULD be writing me angry emails, though. I've dodged more than a few bullets in the history of this blog.)
Oh man. What if she wants to talk to me ABOUT my blog? Like, maybe she's going to be like "So, I thought it was supposed to funny? And interesting? What happened to all that?" THAT would be touchy. Even though she told me, just today, that she read something that made her laugh...what if she's going to be all "I lied"? Yikes.
I'm officially out of my mind. I apparently cannot handle the "I have a question for you" without the promise of a question asked. Immediately.
I take a deep breath and call her. She doesn't answer. What if it's a question that is SO TOUCHY she can't bring herself to SAY it, but must type it under the cover of a social networking site?! WHAT CAN'T SHE SAY TO ME?!?!
I need to talk to my mom. She just took a great trip to surprise her sister in Colorado for her birthday, and I'm in need in of some awesomely great sister stories. So I call her. She loops me in to some of the fun stories, and then we chit chat about the fun fun FUN shopping trip for new work clothes we are taking on Friday. I momentarily forget about the "touchy question" and start thinking of cable knit and suede boots. But then I find out that Prinna is staying at my parents tonight.
"She's there NOW?" I ask my mom.
"Yes, but she's in bed."
"Hmmmm. You wouldn't happen to know about a 'touchy question' Prinna has for me, would you?"
"Oh, I think she was going to see if you'd consider babysitting on Saturday night."
Prinna, if you are reading this, THAT DOES NOT QUALIFY AS A TOUCHY QUESTION. Here are some examples of "touchy questions": "How come you smell so bad lately?" or "Your face is starting to look like pizza. Have you considered Proactiv?" or "Your mood swings are scaring people." Okay, that's not a question, but you get the idea.
Hopefully that's all it is. I didn't realize I was so sensitive around Prinna, but one lead-in question from her had me second-guessing everything from my thrifty fashion choices to my ultimate ego-trip of a blog. I shouldn't be so freaked out. Because seriously, I know - and Prinna knows - those moccasins are adorbs.