The Biggest Loser

You know, it's been too long since I gave myself a reality check. I've gotten too high on my horse. Too "up in my own butt". I nabbed the World's Perfect Job and what, now I'm better than Old Pharon? No, that's not true. Listen, you can take the girl out of the Bad Job, but you can't...well, whatever. You know what I mean. So tonight, Kim stopped by to pick up some stuff and we got invested in a show that really held up a mirror that made me check myself before I wreck myself.

That show, my friends, was The Biggest Loser.

I've never watched this show before. It makes me feel lazy and emotional. But it was on, and Kim and I decided to just kind of keep watching it. So, there we were. Watching TV and drinking wine while the people ON TV were working out and kicking butt. Suddenly, Claire appears out of the laundry room with a few items of clothes.

"Pharon, I was going to give these away to Goodwill, but do you want them?"

The items in question were an adorable green Banana Republic trench and a green sweater.

"Sure, do you want me to buy them from you, though?"

"Nah, I'm just going to donate them if you don't want them."

Kim looked at me as I sheepishly tucked the freebies under my head and laid back down to finish TV. I blushed and said "Yay! I'm charity!"

Then earlier today at work, I may or may not have done the Robot in public and then muttered "Robots is awesome." RobotS IS awesome? Really, English major? I don't think so, nerd.

Earlier STILL I woke up and turned on the TV. Because I fall asleep watching Friends on Nickelodean, I sometimes wake up to Max and Ruby. Which is a cartoon. A TERRIBLE CARTOON. That I may or may not have watched for 15 minutes so that I could be reminded about the perks of sharing.

But the night itself capped off with the loseriest loserism of all. Both Claire and Kim wanted to borrow my gaming system. And I was like TOO protective over it. I was all "Who will treat this Xbox the best? Who deserves to dance to Whip My Hair more?" Ugh. Get a life, n00b.

The point here, folks, is that YES. I do feel totally awesome about how perfectly bomb my new job is, and how important I finally feel. But rest assured that at heart, I am still the REAL biggest loser we have all come to know and pity love.