Twit

So, I agreed to try and explain the point of Twitter to someone tonight. Um, so asking me to explain Twitter is like asking a dog to explain how to clean up poop. I don't KNOW how it works, I just know that it does. And it stinks! ZING!  (What?!) But seriously, folks...

Okay, so my sister Prinna asked me to point out some of the finer points of Twitter. Was it a mistake on her part? Maybe. I believe I started off the tutorial by explaining "There are three uses for Twitter. 1) To market or promote something. 2) To inform and stay informed." Then Prinna asked "What do YOU use it for?"

"3) I use it try and get celebrities to talk to me."

Oh, the wonders of technology and a worldwide reach.

So, she asked how many followers I had, after I proclaimed to be the best person on Twitter ever, I was like, "Uh, only 100. I'm not, uh, INTO getting followers. But those 100 are, like, REALLY good followers."

Anyhoozle, I felt kind of bad. Like I was shortchanging my sister. She was looking to network and be helpful and important, and I was like "Now Prinna, you can tweet @Katespadeny all you want, but you just may not get a free purse in the mail for awhile. And hahaha, if you think that you'll get a shout out on Comedy Bang Bang just because you tweeted them a hilarious comment, you've got another thing comin', lady."

After a brief chat I realized that I'm not a good Twitter resource. I was all "Ha! I follow GOD on Twitter. He's hilaaaaarious." And she was like "Oh, so...but if you DON'T just want to try and get comedians and celebrities to tweet you, what else can you use Twitter for?"

Color me stumped because I was all "Um, I don't know? I guess you can keep track of what's happening on the Emmy's and stuff. Or, like if there's a revolution in Iran again, you'll probs hear about on Twitter first." I couldn't actually help her USE it though. I did my best to explain that "It's great to connect with a network of people you value." In her case, she'll fit right into the Minnesota writers group. But I realized that I had no network to which I belonged. Where do I fit in?

Whatever. I guess that's the best part about Twitter. You don't have to do jack squat if you don't want to. But, there are those will use this power for good, like my sister. Or Spiderman. For me? I'll stick to following Drunk Hulk and keeping up with the latest Gangnam Style parodies and fun facts. That's helpful, too, right?

P.S. Follow me on Twitter for more information on the nonsense I wrote about in this post. Or, you know, if you want to support me in my ongoing pursuit to befriend Jennifer Aniston and win a lifetime supply of Kate Spade bags.