Dear Crabby

I both LOVE and HATE reading good books. I had some pretty big goals today that went completely abandoned because I spent 5 hours reading my latest book. It's called Gone Girl and it was...well, it was good enough to keep me drawn in for 5 hours straight. So, yeah. Sorry, Chores and Responsibilities! Maybe  we'll get around to you guys tomorrow! Now onto the only responsibility I take seriously enough to put down my Kindle. Deeeeeeeeeear Crabby!

Dear Crabby,
I am SUPER stressed out at work. The deadlines are about to break me and I'm freaking out. I feel like it's time for me to move on to a less stressful job with fewer responsibilities. I'm only 28 and I've had an ulcer! What do you think I should do? Is it time to move on, or should I stick it out?
Please reply a.s.a.p.!

OMGOMGOMGOMG,
Okay, PRASASP, I'll make his quick. WhatEVER you decide to do, you need to CALM DOWN. Seriously, girl, I was stressed out just READING your post. Ugh. Sheesh. Please hold while I take a few relaxing breaths. One...two...three... Okay, I'm ready. I don't know what you should do. You seem uptight, though. IF that's not how you were BEFORE your job, then yeah, go ahead and start job hunting. Be warned, though, the process of looking for a great job is very stressful. Take it from me, though, it's worth it. However, if you are just generally an uptight, crazy person, it's likely that YOU are the one making the JOB stressful. Take break and think for a second. I have a feeling if you can give yourself an actual chance to THINK about what you want, you'll figure it out. Good luck and consider yoga.

Dear Crabby,
My daughter has been watching Toddlers & Tiaras lately and told me she REALLY wants to try doing a pageant. Trust me, I know it's probably a bad idea, but she's really cute and smart and wants to do it. Do I let her?
Blowing kisses,
Pageant Mom?

Pageant Mom,
I, personally, think that's probably the most horrible decision any parent could make. You say you've seen Toddlers & Tiaras, but I'm concerned that it was AFTER seeing the show that you thought pageants were a good idea. Those shows typically make people think "OMG, I'm glad those kids aren't mine." Most people don't watch it and say "Oooh, that looks healthy and fun!" So, already I'm worried about you. I say no. Those kids are insane. Case in point: Honey Boo Boo. See, the show is entertaining, but I'm not going to go bobbing for pig's feet anytime soon. So yeah. Don't do it. I have a feeling it wouldn't be pretty.

Dear Crabby,
Are your Dear Crabby questions REAL questions? Like, for real? Sometimes they seem way too crazy and whacked out to be actual questions. So...?
Your faithful, but skeptical, reader,
Fo' Realsies

Hello there, Fo' Realsies,
These are very real questions. Questions that real people have had at one point or another. They are as real as that question (THOSE questionS?) you sent in, dear reader. DUH. Now I have a question for YOU, Fo' Realsies. Is that your REAL name?

Okay, I gotsta get back to my book. I'm like 98 percent through it and I've spent like 30 minutes NOT reading, which is killin' my page-per-minute average. Got  more questions? Send them to pharonsquare@gmail.com and I will answer them. FO' REALSIES.