EPIC

WELL. I officially feel bad for everyone who has ever uttered the phrase, "Oh, I don't own a TV." I just witnessed an epic, EPIC, television episode that made me love TV harder than ever before. Thanks, Sons of Anarchy!

Listen, I respect people who don't own TVs. I just don't understand them. TV is wonderful. I think that TV is often given a bad name because the Kardashians dominate like 1/16 of all the shows, but several other parts are GREAT.

I rode an emotional rollercoaster tonight because of TV. I legitimately laughed AND cried because of TV. I imagine people without a television sitting around, learning or whatever, and neither laughing NOR crying, but experiencing life WITHOUT a kicka$$ biker gang to root for.

If I'm being honest, I'd say this: I straight up DO NOT TRUST people without TVs. It's like they are going out of their way to not enjoy a good thing...like monks. Or worse: hipsters. But I know lots of people who claim to not watch TV. All the people have been wonderful and nice, but how am I EVER going to have a conversation with them about things I like? Things like: Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, Law and Order: SVU, Happy Endings, and Friends reruns. Plus, I have the unshakable belief that they DO watch TV, but only tune in to, like, the worst shows ever.

Better to claim you've never seen a TV than to cop to the fact that you only obsessively watch Real Housewives of Wherever.

Not having a TV these days is the equivalent of not having a cell phone 8 years ago. Sure, there may be a reason for it, but it's not important and you'll get left in the dust. People NEED TV. They need Family Guy reruns and terrible episodes of Burn Notice because otherwise, life is a snooze-fest. It's boring and it's sad and it's hard. I don't want to come home from a stressful day and, like, READ THE NEWS. Puke. I want to watch other people do dumb stuff that has no impact on me whatsoever.

Then tonight, I watched an episode of Sons of Anarchy...not only was it complete amazeballs, but it confirmed why I love TV and why it's just totally awesome. Under normal circumstances, I would have zero ways to know or care about a biker gang. But tonight, I bawled my eyes out because a story got compelling, and even though someone died on TV, they didn't die in real life. Which is cool.

So to all the people who are all "MEH. I like REAL LIFE, not TV." I say this to you: Fine read your books and live in "the real world." Just don't come crying to me when you get bored. I'll be very very busy watching Revolution (which is, by the way, PRETTY GOOD.)