Suxedo

So, I was talking to Geo last night and I was stressing out about, like, a bazillion things and he wanted to help. He said "Hey, if it helps at all, I think I found the jacket I want the guys to wear for the wedding!" I felt a glimmer of hope, excited that maybe one decision would not have to involve me and 300 other people's opinions. He said "I'll send you a picture."

This is what he sent me.

Oh sweet baby Jane. What is that?! I gasped, "Ohmygod, Geo, that is horrible!" And he says "No, no! It's great! I mean, just the jacket, not the plaid pants." Yeah, because the plaid pants are what's ruining the look. I said "Geo, that's just, it makes my brain sweat. It's awful. I hate it." I think he was disappointed in my reaction. I think he saw this jacket and was like "YES. BUYING 7." But I mean, do people NOT get that white jackets basically come with a tray of appetizers to carry around a room?

Do I not understand men's fashion? Let me rephrase that: I do NOT understand men's fashion. I only know that men should always wear a tuxedo or slim black suit, because I know those things look great. But I will never understand suits and their useless buttons and fake pockets. I don't get giant, heavy shoes. And I simply do not understand how they put outfits together. What's with all the belts and ties and undershirts and how are you supposed to match one with the other? And what shoes are you supposed to wear with a blue suit?! BROWN? EW!

Geo actually has a lot of clothes I like. We usually have very similar tastes in attire (we both own red pants, mint green shorts and even a purple v-neck tee). And he is a huge fan of Jack Spade, the man version of Kate Spade. He always looks great. But when I see stuff like that caterer jacket that he wants to wear for our wedding, I feel like a dog watching TV: unable to fully understand the colors and things I'm seeing.

I always thought I understood the basics of style. I can mix patterns confidently, I stay far far away from jorts, and can totally judge a good outfit from a bad on Project Runway. But the fact that someone put black and white plaid skinny pants with a boxy, yet slim-cut white jacket with black lapels confuses me. The fact that other people actually DIG it freaks me out.

However, I DID just google "women's black and plaid pants" because I actually like the ones in the picture. For women.