My Boyfriend Does NOT Do My Makeup Tag

So, as you all know, I have a girl crush on Jenna Marbles. She is the YouTube girl who is everything in videos that I aim to be on blogs. Anyway, this week, she hopped on the My Boyfriend Does My Makeup Tag phenomenon.  I laughed for probably an hour at work, wondering what I would look like if Geo did my makeup. I thought "Chances are, it'll look better than what I do."

Friends, we'll never know.

I sent Geo a text this afternoon saying I needed his help with a blog. He said, "Uh oh." I was all "No, no! It's totally cool! I just need you to do my makeup, that's all!"

I was all pumped all day. I was thinking "Oh man, this will launch my blog out of the confines of Blogger and into the world of YouTube and then on to Internet stardom!" So, yeah. My expectations were realistic from the beginning.

When I finally got home, I buttered him up with groceries and some wine. I put on my fanciest giant t-shirt and reminded him, "Hey! Aren't you SO excited to do my makeup tonight? Won't it be HILARIOUS?!"

Stick a pin in my balloon, because I was utterly deflated when he said "I don't want to do it. I just don't think it will be that funny."

Ouch, bro.

I tried reminding him of my OTHER posts that he thought weren't going to be "that funny" and most of them were hits. I tried telling him about all the crap I had gone through for the past 2 years over the course of his "Challenges" for HIS online baby - his podcast (which I'm not even going to mention or link to because he won't help me).

Note: Here are just SOME of his challenges that directly affected me. He couldn't text (when he lived in Alabama, and that was our primary means of daily interaction). He couldn't eat anything except what a caveman could eat - there goes dinner together! He couldn't watch TV - uh, okay, then what ELSE are we supposed to do after work!? He couldn't swear. Well, that didn't affect me much. I just swore twice as much for him. Anyway, you get the idea.

I even tried guilting him into doing it. "Geo, this is the ONLY time I'll be able to do this. You know, 'cause you're leaving in 4 days, and after that it'll be too late. Unless I can get another boyfriend while you're gone."

Still, he refused.

So, I'm just going to give you an imagined version of what would have happened.

Most other videos have girls with giant collections of makeup, which is why it's funny to watch a guy try to pick his way through the mountains of primer and foundation and tinted concealers. MY video would start with a slow pan over the 4 or 5 products I have. Then Geo would pick up the right product, because there are only FIVE to choose from, and put it on my face. As well as, if not better than,  I could do.

Then he'd put some powder on haphazardly with whatever brush he could find, because that's how I put it on MYSELF, and it would look fine.

We'd go to the eyes and that's where things could go hilariously. I can't even put that junk on. So, whatever he'd do would be bad, but no worse than what I can do. The mascara is what I'm best at, so he'd fail miserably at that part.

Then he'd swoop on some blush/eyeshadow onto my cheeks (again, I use whatever's closest to me) and I'd be done. I'd look EXACTLY THE SAME.

Trust me. It would have been hilarious.