Thursday, January 3, 2013

Nailed it!

Hey there, dummies! Okay, so like three weeks ago, I went and got my nails did. I got this gel polish gunk put on my nails that dried with LIGHT. Fancy! (And magical?) Anyway, the lady told me (after making fun of my small "baby nails") that the gel polish would stay on for like 10 days. No chipping. This was perfect, since I was getting my engagement pics taken a week later.

Like I said, that was like three weeks ago. Now the gel REFUSES TO COME OFF. I've cut my nails, filed them, used nail polish remover and briefly held them against a flame, but big sections of it still won't budge. The parts I HAVE managed to peel off have left behind an uneven, dry nail with which I can do nothing. It's so incredibly frustrating, and probably not worth the $45 I shelled out.

So, I won't be doing that again anytime soon. But I had a hankering to paint my nails tonight. Geo was gone tonight so I decided to shake myself up a cocktail, turn on an episode of "Four Weddings" and dig through my nail polish for a relaxing girl's night in. I immediately went through the same process I go through every time I decide to paint my nails and can't decide on the color.

Here's how I break them down. Now, this process varies based on season, how tan I am, which nails I'm painting, and whether I have a specific event coming up or not. This is the breakdown for: winter, pasty white, toes, no chance my feet will ever be seen at any event ever in the near future.

Cherry red: Cute, but too predictable and by the time I get around to taking it off my nails, the red has seeped through my soul. I mean nails.
Neon pink: Pharon...stay away from neon. It's winter.
Navy Sparkly Blue: OMG, love this color, but in the winter, it makes me look like I'm not getting any circulation in my feet
Black: Only appropriate for depressing Saturdays or formal events...and you know, when I'm in my goth phase
Purply-pink: The last time I had this on, even my 4-year-old niece was all "Aren't you a little old for that color?"
Stormy Grey: In winter!? Who am I, Virginia Woolf?!
Fuschia: No...fuschia in winter makes me feel like a hooker for some inexplicable reason
Mint green: In hindsight, this was not a good color choice for ANY occasion in ANY season
"Espresso": Espresso was not an accurate description of this reality, and according to every person who has seen this color on me, it should have been called "Wait, is that poop?"
Baby pink: With my skin tone, this color makes me look like I have no fingernails at all. Just shiny skin on one side of my fingers.
Deep orange: Again, not a good purchase for ANY time of year for me.
Gold: No. It's never as cool as I think it will be. I'm always like "Gold! Fancy..and fun!" And it ends up to be all "Gold? Streaky...and dull!"
Mix-and-match colors of the same hue: Love this trend, but I already had it on my nails and I need to shake things up.
Polish-less: What am I, a hippie?!

So anyway, I painted my nails clear and decided two things: One, I need more nail polish and Two, (oddly enough) I think I have too much nail polish.


Taylor Haddock said...

Laughed out loud at Espresso and Baby Pink. HIGH-larious!

What about a french manicure, but with a fun color instead of white?

Pharon Square said...

Shoot! I forgot about French, Taylor! Usually I LOVE French manicures but the "gel/hell polish" I have on my fingers is already a French manicure. So, maybe the thought of putting it on my toes made me want to punch myself...

Also, while I'm pretty decent at a tradtional FM, I've NEVER been able to master the the FM with fun colors. Helpful suggestions anyone?

JessiferSeabs said...

Oh, dear, you can't remove a gel manicure by yourself. You either need to let it wear off / peel it off (this can take a long time) or go to the salon and have them soak it off. They have to use acetone to remove it -- probably not great for the nails (or the lungs), but damn my nails look good with a gel!

Pharon Square said...

Uh, Jess? Where were you 5 days ago when I started the very tedious and painful process of peeling them off?!

Meanwhile, you couldn't be more right. Gel nails DO look amahzing, but the aftermath just ain't pretty...

Madeline Solien said...

Duh Pharon, you're supposed to go in and get it taken off at the salon! I can't believe they didn't tell you'll destroy your nails trying to take it off yourself...they should have also told you to get cuticle oil to put all over your nails to counteract the industrial strength acetone they use to put them on and take them off...some salons are so dumb