Thick Skin

Here's all you need to know about this weekend.

Me: Man, I wish my head and arms were on the other way...like backwards, you know?
Geo: ....
Me: You know, 'cause my back is peeling pretty badly and I can't really see or reach it, but if my head and arms were on the other way, I could pick it all off.
Geo: ...

Wait, that doesn't make sense to you either? FINE. I'm the freak, I guess...

I went to my parents' cabin this weekend with Geo, my parents, my brothers and their wives. As usual, it was a great time. Lots of good food, family, fun, alcohol before noon...it was a super perfect way to spend a crazy-hot, sunny weekend. So, I was determined to get some color. I chilled on the boat, I floated around on a raft, I did anything I could to be in the sun. Every time I'd come in from the sun, I said the same thing.

"Ugh. My skin hurts. I have GOT to stay out of the sun."

And then I'd go back out, burning myself over and over. Thus, the peeling.

So, I've been periodically, uh, TENDING to my shedding skin. It's like when you used to smear Elmer's glue on your palm, let it dry and then peel it off. SO SATISFYING. Anyhoozle, Geo has been playing Xbox in the other room and I've been in my room, watching an unhealthy amount of Law and Order: SVU. He walked in to see what I had been up to and said "What? Why do you look guilty?" 

I shrugged my half-peeled shoulders and said "I have no idea what you're talking about." He saw my increasingly pinked skin, shook his head, walked away and said "Ugh. You have a serious problem. Stop peeling!"

I canNOT be the only one who peels my peeling skin. If I AM then you guys have no idea what you're missing. Is it gross? Probably. But whatever! What am I supposed to do? Slough it off like a snake? Like in one big piece? No, duh. I'm not a snake. I'm a human. A human who wishes her torso was on backwards so she could simply just peel skin. Is that so crazy?