Thursday, July 26, 2012

The Future (and Demise) of a Marriage

Here is the conversation that is happening right now. Geo and I are discussing the amount of times he'll be able to come home after he goes back to school. Everything was going well until this.

Me: Oooh, good. You'll be back for a month in December! You know what that means?!
Geo: INDOOR GOLF
Me: No. Wedding planning.
Geo: Listen, I've got to get a lot of training in if I'm going to get on the Senior PGA Tour.
Me: ..............
Geo: Yeah.
Me: [To the non-existent audience to my right] Are you guys HEARING this right now?
Geo: What? 
Me:  I mean, this isn't a REAL thing, is it? If it were real, I'd, like, support you. Emotionally. But this better not be a real thing. How old do you have to be to even GET on the Senior tour?
Geo: Oh, it's real. You have to be 50 to get on the tour. So, I've got 20+ years to become a professional...well, to practice. Then retire. 
Me: Retire from what?
Geo: My job.
Me: Oh, so you'll have another job. That's good. Um. Okay...let me write this down.
Geo: Then I'll just qualify for the Senior PGA Tour. 
Me: Right. Sounds easy enough. Then what?
Geo: Well, then I'm just going to ball out. And then I'll make, um, well, generally I'll just make more than I've ever made in my whole life. 
Me: Uh huh...
Geo: Yeah, I'll travel the world golfing, make a lot of money. Of course, I'll be paying for my kids' college [ed. note: Yeah, OF COURSE], and then I'll just be living it up...Tiger Woods style.
Me: [stifled laughter] OMG, hold on...slow down. I can't type this fast.
Geo: No, don't put that in there. Not THAT kind of Tiger Woods style. You know what I mean.
Me: Anything else you want to share with me [and my audience]?
Geo: No. Are we clear?
Me: Yeah. Cool. 
Geo: I told you...all I do is hit home runs.

Um. Yeah. So....what just happened? 

1 comment:

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