Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Sista Sista

Oh man, it is SO late. I really left this blog until the last minute, but I don't care. I had a very inspiring night. After a few days of stress and just, like, problems, I headed out to kickboxing determined to punch the crap out of a bag. But, alas, Scary Tony was late. So I sat in my car, a mere 500 yards from my sister Prinna's house, and just stewed. I was all in a tizzy about approximately 1,000 things. So, Tony keeps not showing and not showing, and suddenly, I just decided to ditch class (cue: flashback to high school) and head to Prinna's. My toe would be eternally thankful. Oh, wait, did I not mention that I managed to mutilate my toe? Yeah, 'cause I did. I was all in a hurry to get to kickboxing, and decided to quick give myself a pedicure. Why? I don't know. Whatevs. Anyway, so I speeding my way through some toe-care when all of a sudden, my toe starts spurting blood. Whoopsie daisies! So, like any sane adult, I wrapped it in paper towels and surgical tape and headed out for some aggressive kicking.

All that waiting around for Tony made me rethink my shoddy medical job. As I saw Tony walk in to the boxing studio, I tossed my hood up, ducked real low behind my steering wheel, and made my getaway. So, I showed up at Prinna's. She's got this freaky, uncanny way of pulling away the forest so I can see the trees. And, again, that's what she did. It probably helps that her kids are crazy cute and instantly make me feel happy anyway. But whatever, I hope that when I have kids, I'll have enough to warrant "sisters". Not to be all mushy, but my sisters are super awesome and people without sisters are people without proper perspective.

Here's a list of lessons that my two sisters, Padrin and Prinna, have taught me:

* "Here's how you shave you legs!" Cut to my dry-shaved, bloody shin. I learned the lesson of proper skin preparation prior to shaving.

* "Eating ice is just like eating food, but without all the empty calories!" Cut to me piling ice into my vodka tonics in the hopes that the same rings true for anything PREPARED with ice.

* "Coloring pictures as an adult is really therapeutic." Cut to zillions of pictures I've colored for others. In the garbage. Who cares? I feel much calmer.

* "Bargain shopping is the wave of the future." Start with me, a humiliated preteen, on a shopping trip at Marshall's, then cut to me yesterday, clipping actual coupons saying things like "What kind of dummy would pay full price for Ritz sandwiches?! IDIOTS, that's who!" Cue: evil laugh.

* "Any crappy change in life is an opportunity to do something awesome you wouldn't otherwise do." Enough said. I like this advice. It's even better when Prinna someone shows you exactly how to do that.

* "Curly hair is very unfortunate and undesirable. Straighten it at all costs." Padrin and Prinna both have thick, curly or wavy hair. I have thin, straight hair. I can now take pride in that after watching ONE of my sisters (who shall remain nameless) purchase Just For Me chemical relaxer at Target. Ummm, yeah. It was NOT intended for my white, curly-haired sister. Also, one of them has had to get a Brazilian Blowout - Now with more formaldehyde!!

* "Mom was right". Yup, sometimes it takes an older, wiser girl to tell you that your mother is ALWAYS right.

* "If you can't laugh at yourself, we're going to make sure we laugh FOR you." My sisters (and in all fairness my whole family) basically taught me that there are zillions of people willing to laugh AT you at all costs. If you're the first to laugh, or show that you're in on the joke, it's not so bad to be the butt of a joke.

Such life lessons, right? I highly suggest that, if you're a girl, you pick yourself up one of these "sisters" people. They seem to really know what they're talking about. Oh, and they are great for stealing clothes from. Until the get bigger boobs than you, or you can't fit into their jeans anymore. Anyhoozle, get yourself a sister, and you'll never be wanting for advice, or helpful criticism, or a kidney or something. So, big ups to my sisters tonight. And, well, actually, my mom who is one of one of seven girls in her family. People who are sisters are just infinitely better at everything. Thanks, ladies!!

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