Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Diary of a Wimpy Kid

I'll just come out and say it. I skipped kickboxing tonight. It is with distinct humiliation that I sadly admit that I hurt myself while sleeping last night. That's right...I'm that klutzy. I was tossing around, trying to get comfortable, and suddenly I cranked my neck too quickly, and this hot metal feeling shot through my neck. Because it was late, and I was tired, I simply decided to ignore it and go back to sleep.

Cut to 5 1/2 hours later. I could barely lift my head to hurl my alarm across the room calmly turn off my alarm. I was all "Holy neck pain!! I hope THAT shooting metal pain goes away!" Then I dragged myself into the shower, still hoping it would go away, then trotted out the door to leave for work, still hoping it would go away, and spent the day immobile at my desk, hoping it would go away. Obvs, it hasn't yet. So, there would be no kickboxing. I felt like such a wuss. I mean, it's not like I had broken my hand or something. How much head-turning do you really DO at kickboxing anyway? I wasn't willing to waste one of my ten classes finding out, though.

It occurred to me though. I'm a wimp. When it comes to injuries, most of which are so non-serious, I take myself out of commission out of fear I could make it worse. It all started, I think, when I got stung by a wasp - 3 times! - on my shoulder when I was like 8 years old. I left the neighborhood kids I was playing with and went screaming bloody murder into the safety of my house. My mom put this gooey stuff on the sting to make it stop hurting, after pulling my shirt down off my shoulder. When my neighborhood crush Kevin showed up at my front door to check on me unexpectedly, I opened the door and was immediately on fire with humiliation. He had seen my SHOULDER! And part of my CHEST! I didn't leave the house for days because I couldn't face seeing Kevin. I was a huge baby about it. /facepalm

In high school, I played Varsity soccer and managed to sustain two debilitating injuries that cut into my not so stellar season. Neither of which were serious, and both of which were embarrassing. The first was when I standing on the aluminum bleachers after a game. I saw a bee and tried to run away from it (duh! Of course I was scared of those flying, stinging, evil jerkwads!) My foot got tangled in my soccer bag and I fell, slamming my shin right into the corner of the metal bleacher. I cried for hours and I couldn't wear a shin guard for weeks.

The second was when I pulled a muscle. Not like a quad, or a calf muscles...nope, I managed to pull my GROIN. For almost half the season, I stood on the sidelines before the game, and I had to lunge forward while the trainer wrapped my groin, getting all close to my bidness while everyone watched. Coooool.

Two years ago, while dancing around in my kitchen, excited to be eating macaroni and cheese, I dropped a plate on my pinky toe, effectively breaking it. I could only wear flip flops for weeks. Before that, I had a cyst on my tailbone that was removed and I had to sit on a donut for a couple days. And before THAT, I got a huge paper cut on one of the crease-y parts of my right middle finger, so I kept it wrapped up in gauze and surgical tape for like 2 weeks. Normal.

The point is, all my "injuries" are wussy injuries, and all of them require a humiliating and/or overzealous solution. So, this whole "pull a neck muscle while snoozing, rendering me completely useless for at least a couple days" is par for the course. I'm bummed about missing kickboxing, though. I wish I wasn't such a klutz while laying in bed. Even more, I wish I wasn't such a wimp about these ridic little injuries. Oh well. I've got an aromatherapy heating pad around my neck, and I'm pretty sure it's not helping, but at least I'm quite relaxed.

P.S. If you like this song, def check out the band, Capybara. They are an awesome band, just played SXSW, and best of all? Geo's friend Joel is in it. Name drop!

No comments: