Monday, September 5, 2011

Lipstick on a Pig

Aaaaaand the weekend is over. Boo. Worst of all? Geo's back in Alabummer. That's super lame. Four days and four nights was just not enough. We packed some good ol' fun times into the weekend though. I'm pretty sure that he had a great time, as did I, but the weather was NOT sweaty armpit weather like it is in Alabummer, so he was pretty stoked to wear jeans for the first time in a month. A month? Is that all he's been gone? It's going to be a long 20 - or I guess 19 now - months.

Speaking of wearing uncomfortable clothing (sort of...), Geo and I went to a crazy-fun wedding last night. His friend Dil got married in downtown Minneapolis, and I had been on a very intense dress search for the past week. After two shipments to/from Zappos, 3 shopping trips, and endless fashion shows for Claire, I had the options down to 2. One was red, drapey, Calvin Klein number that was oh-so-comfortable and just kid of fun. Very conservative, but very very comfortable. The other was a dress Claire has. It was another Calvin Klein, but was black, tight, and very very chic looking. It was much more confining and structured, so it kind of felt like wedging myself into a body corset made out of steel and concrete. But it looked pretty snazzy on. After begging for Geo's opinion for like 2 hours, he finally said "They're both fine. I guess the black one looks more Mad Men-ish though." Okay, so black it is!

So, as I'm getting ready, I found myself having to explain to Geo what Spanx are/do, which kind of ruined the illusion. Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain. But I got the dress on, stepped into my painfully high, yet amazingly awesome, nude stilettos, strung on a really amazing necklace (also courtesy of Claire) and looked like an actual woman. What are these thingies? Oh, curves that should be flaunted? OKAY!

And what's that, Pharon? You put on some actual makeup with some awesome smokey eyeshadow AND lip gloss? I'll bet you looked great.

And I did. I felt good. I did NOT feel good sitting down though. I had to sit like a Barbie doll - all stiff and awkward. But luckily, I spent most of the night on the dance floor and walking to and from the bar. No need for sitting! Here's the thing. The wedding was filled with Geo's guy friends who I've met and know, so I was surrounded by guys who, for the most part, would probably know me better as "one of the guys" and not a "a girlie girl", and a couple of them actually complimented me. One of them said "Whoa! You're a girl!?" Hilarious.

Anyway, it occurred to me, after a completely awesome person said I looked like a Kardashian - she was drinking a lot too - that I outta try and spruce myself up more often. Instead of opting for comfy jeans and a loose sweatshirt, it's okay to suck it all in and shake what my momma gave me. I mean, I'm a little concerned that I may have crushed a vital organ after such intense bondaging of my body, but who cares? And so WHAT if it took me 45 minutes to use the bathroom? I looked good. I felt good.

Today when I returned the dress to Claire, I commented that I should really start dressing more like her because I get a way better reaction. At that moment, Claire was wearing some cotton shorts and a big ol' corporate t-shirt. She briefly thought about me telling her I was going to start dressing like her, and then said "Okay, I guess I could try and get you another one of these t-shirts?" So sure, I guess we're not all 10's all the time. But it's good to know that deep down, under this awesomely comfortable 7, I've got a 10 version of myself that's a pretty good time too.


grandmaman said...

How about a pic of you in the black dress!

Pharon Square said...

I am a giant dummy and never got one, Grandmaman! I'm hoping that someone at the wedding snapped a good one, so if one shows up on Facebook or something, I'll definitely post it here!!