Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Internot Date

EEEEE! I'm so excited! Tonight will be the first time I have seen Geo since he left for Alabummer! Stupid AT&T can't figure out how to hook up their OWN EQUIPMENT at his new place, so Geo has been without internet and cable since he left. (Point: Minneapolis.) Anyway, he has this random internet thing that gives him a temporary (and unreliable) internet connection, so now he can record his podcast with the boys, and then Skype me! I've missed seeing his face so much, that I'm actually NERVOUS to see him! It definitely does not help that I've just completed a Zumba workout and won't have time to shower before the call. But do I put on makeup? Put on my Prom dress? I don't know! I feel like it's our first date. At least I don't have to brush my teeth.

Boo. The podcast recording is going long, so I've got another hour to kill before my "date". Guess I have no excuse for not showering anymore. So what now? Do I put makeup back on? Change out of pajamas and into some awesome sequined shirt? I mean, I don't want to look like I'm trying too hard, but I want him to know I tried, you know? Dilemmas, dilemmas.

I've frequently Skype'd with my best pal Madeline, who lives in Chicago. I usually don't care what I look like on those calls (sorry, Madeline!) so this is creating some new anxiety. And you know how when you Skype, ALL you can do is stare back at yourself in that little window? You're ALWAYS distracted by your own gorgeous reflection (Thanks, Narcissus). And the lighting, no matter where you are, is sketchy at best. Shadows are cast in unfortunate places, it's too bright on your forehead, the light behind you makes it look like you're a ghost emerging from the great Beyond...none of it's very flattering.

On top of all that, this isn't just a phone call, so every nose pick, every roll of your eyes, every heap of dirty laundry behind you is all just right there for the other person to see. And you've got to be ENGAGED in the conversation. What if my mind wanders and I find myself in la-la land, and I absently just get up to go to the bathroom? Faux pas! Ugh...nerves!

Okay, so the call with Geo is dunzo now. Good thing I didn't put a bunch of makeup on because the second I saw him, I got all girlie and weepy. That lasted like 25 seconds. Then I told him he needed to decorate his room more because his walls were too bare. Aaaah...nothing gets rid of the sad like a good ol' nagfest. Then his makeshift internet crapped out about 8 minutes in, so all the wardrobe decisions I had gone through were for naught. I asked Geo, when he called me to tell me his internet just wasn't cooperating, if he noticed that I had been wearing one of his favorite shirts. He said "I couldn't see anything...you were just playing with your hair so much." Add that to the list of habitual tendencies that I need to keep in check on Skype.

So, the night ended much the same way it does every night. A phone call, a distracted trip to the bathroom to tweeze my eyebrows during the phone call, and a promise that this will all get easier. I don't know how people made long distance work before internet, because even the phone calls just don't seem to cut it sometimes. But, when all is said and done, it was good to see Geo's face, no matter how short it lasted. I noticed he had shaved, he said he could tell I had recently showered. Romance is not dead, friends. But if anything comes out of this situation, it's my strong hatred for AT&T and their inability to hook up Geo's internet properly. Do they not realize what they're doing to my relationship? Jerks.

Allllllright, I'm gonna hit the hay. All this prepping and virtual disappointment really takes it out of a gal. Until tomorrow, why don't you all get started on writing letters to Congressmen about the suckiness of internet service. Okay? Okay!

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