Par for the Course

This weekend, Geo and I are going to visit our crazy-fun friends Chad and Angie in Rochester. There’s talk of golf, hence the immediacy of the following situation.

I reallllly want a pair of golf shoes. I feel like if I get cute shoes, I’ll be more inclined to go out and play golf. ”But Pharon,” you argue, ”you don’t PLAY golf! You don’t need SHOES made solely for golf!” And there’s where you’d be wrong, friends. I CAN play golf. I took LESSONS at Hazeltine National Golf Club for one summer when I was 16 years old. And in the world of golf lessons, that’s totally boss. Oh, and plus? I WON THE “BIG FOUR” TOURNAMENT AND HAVE MY NAME ON A TROPHY SOMEWHERE IN THE BOWELS OF HAZELTINE. (P.S. The Big Four was my class name. We played four holes of golf in the time it took the other groups to play nine. We were not good. And all the other girls were 12, and one of them hit the ball and it accidentally went BEHIND her, but whatever. I WON, AND MY NAME IS ON A TROPHY.)

Okay, so I haven’t played for, oh, a decade probably. I have come to the conclusion that it is simply because I don’t have the proper footwear. So, I randomly became OBSESSED with finding golf shoes cute enough to be seen on MY feet. Then I found these:

DROOL.

I love these shoes. I want them more than I want the black patent leather wedges Kate Middleton wore after her wedding. I want them more than I want the Charm heels in Platinum Glitter from Kate Spade. (Okay, not really…that would be just plain crazy talk.) But I waaaaant these golf shoes. I am 100% certain I would not only PLAY golf if I had them, but I would DOMINATE in them.

Oh, wait. What’s that? They’re $130? SHPLORG! Even I can't justify this purchase, and I talked myself into wearing bodysuits at one point in my life. But ugh…I sat there, staring at these awesome shoes in my virtual shopping cart, one click away from buying the key to my golf success, and that number just refused to go down. I kept thinking "Get serious, Crazy. YOU DON’T PLAY GOLF. You chose your golf glove based solely on the fact that it had a bedazzled ball marker. You don’t know the difference between a Sand Wedge and a Pitching Wedge. You only go golfing if there is a cart and beer involved. You do NOT DESERVE THESE SHOES, POSER." Man, I can such a beyotch…

Geo was scolding me too, being like "Pharon, no. Just. No." And I was all "But I’ll play SOOO much more golf with you if I get them!" and he’s all "It’s irresponsible." And I was all "Dude, YOU want to buy a motorcycle. Lay off."

But I didn't buy them. I agreed to do some real-life shopping at a real-life golf store with Geo tonight in the hopes of finding some shoes that aren't fugly and don't cost an arm and a leg. I ended up with these:

Okay, so maaaybe these aren't the IDEAL shoes, but they are definitely cute. And those colored little strip dealies are inserts to change the color of the Nike swoosh. Just like my old cheerleading shoes! I can color coordinate with aaaaaaaaaaaanything. (As Geo said, "They are just gimmicky enough for you!" and he is 100% correct.) The best part? They were a crazy good deal. Mix a 25% off Golfsmith sale with the fact that they are children's shoes and I got 'em for like $35. God bless my child-sized feet!

If I end up golfing this weekend, I'm probably going to totally OWN the course (I hope). What are you guys up to for the long weekend? Big plans? Fun plans? No plans? A man, a plan, a canal: Panama? (Palindromes are Semordnilap!) I hope you guys all have a safe, fun, awesome long weekend! I'll see you all on the other end of it...