Dear Crabby

You guessed it, kids. More reader queries!

Hey Crabby,

I understand you favor vodka tonics over all drinks, but I need help! I'm having my boyfriends parents over this weekend, and I'd like to have a decent wine to serve so I make a good impression. I just have NO idea what to get! Do you have any suggestions so I don't look like a dummy in front of them? Also, I'm currently in school with a job that barely pays the rent, so I really don't want to spend a lot. Heeeelp!

Love,
Whining About Wine

Dear Wino Whining,

Yipes! The crucial Hosting Dinner for the Boyfriends Parents! Sounds like you guys are pretty serious - congrats! That said, I won't lie to you. It's pretty important not to mess this up. However, the wine might be the least of your worries. Have you thought about what to wear? If you'll use a tablecloth? What to do in the event of food poisoning!? Personally, those are my biggest fears. But okay, let's deal with the wine. Here's my rule of thumb about wine: It's ALL good if you drink enough of it. Besides that, my knowledge is lacking. But my easiest suggestion is to buy a carafe or a decanter. You can find cheap ones like this one: Cheap Decanter. Then, it really doesn't matter what crapola wine you put in there. Just get RED wine because it looks fancier to me (I'd go for a safe choice like a Cabernet Sauvignon or Pinot Noir. Merlot tastes like blood and anything else seems like too much of a wild card). Also? If you have a Trader Joe's nearby, go stock up there. It's cheap and delicious. And they don't really sell bad wine per se, so you can't go wrong. Then dump it in the carafe, and no one will know what you spent on it! If they ask, just say something like "Oh, it's a private reserve that's only available in [insert your city name here] during the last couple weeks." Yay! You'll win them over in NO time! Good luck, pal! :)

Dear Crabby,

I'm hungry. What should I have for dinner?

Thanks,
Hungry in Harrisburg

Dear Hungry,

Well geez, I don't know! Cereal with peanut butter toast sounds good to me. Uh, or pasta? Or seared scallops? I don't know, can you cook? What ingredients do you have? Do you know how to operate a garlic press? Man, I'm stumped. Uh, how about a hobo dinner? Hobo dinners are fabulously delicious and perfect for grilling. I'm making one myself tonight. It's stupid-proof, too. Chop up potatoes, yellow peppers and onions, toss em together with some garlic powder and whatever other spices make sense, plop a few blobs of butter in it, then wrap it all in a little tinfoil sack. Put on grill and some time later (15 minutes? An hour? I don't know, what do I look like? A psychic?) you'll open it up and it's deeeeeelish! Yeah, make that. Or whatever, go with the cereal.

Dear Crabby,

So, I was offered a job today, but it involves kind of a significant pay cut, which is not great. My job now is sucky but it pays way better. What do you think? Do I take it?

Love always,
Help Wanted

Dear Help Wanted,

Well la-di-da. You've got one job, and another has been offered to you? All your unemployed fellow citizens should BE so lucky! Okay, joking aside, here's the dealio. If you were LOOKING for a new job - go for it. I'm no expert on job hunting, but I feel like you're unhappy with your current job if you're out there looking for others. You must weigh the pros and cons, though. Hey! Maybe you should make a list! Anyway, you have to figure out what you are lacking in your old job, and just make sure the new job fills those gaps. Does it come down to challenges? Work load? Social atmosphere? Money? (Well, okay, with the pay cut this is a non-issue.) Whatever it is, make sure the pay cut is worth it. Paychecks can't buy super fun happy hours, good friends, challenging works, and pride. If the new job is a good fit - take it! Then buy a bunch of stuff from the pharonsquare store! Yay! It's good karma, yo!

These were tough questions! Pretty sure I passed with flying colors, though. DON'T FORGET! Send your questions to pharonsquare@gmail.com and I'll give you a piece of my mind.