Thursday, July 7, 2011

Would You Rather...(Yes I Would)

I gave myself a goal last weekend. Every day, I was going to pack up or clean up one area of my house. I've been doing okay with it, but I don't want to do it anymore. I'm sick of trying to find boxes, trying to decide if I'm going to keep, sell, throw, or store every stupid little doohickey in sight. Why do I have SO many vases?! In order to postpone my packing job tonight, I've decided to make a list of all the things I'd rather do than pack.

* Wear fiberglass contacts in my eyes
* Eat a diaper
* Shoe shop exclusively at Schuler Shoes
* See Carrot Top in concert
* Talk to Angelina Jolie about her tattoos
* Let a cat sleep on my face
* Go on a run around Lake Calhoun with no pants on (or, okay, even just "go on a run")
* Take a shower at the YMCA barefoot (the ghetto Y, too)
* Drink toilet water
* Play Keep Away by myself...with a grenade
* Listen to a story about algorithms
* Eat tacks
* Get trapped in a port-o-potty at a Spicy Taco Eating Contest
* Let a mosquito live in my ear
* Wear a sweater made out of barbed wire and Gary Busey's belly button lint
* Have no toe nails
* Take the Driving Test again
* Adopt a family of raccoons
* Try going blonde again
* Run into a high school boyfriend during a fat day
* Watch an Everybody Loves Raymond marathon
* Study math
* Relive puberty
* Read Twilight
* Have the Pokemon theme song stuck in my head. Forever.
* Snort a pineapple up my nose
* Be on the Titanic
* Get really into composting
* Give veganism a try
* Become besties with Heidi Montag
* Be Lindsay Lohan's agent
* Date Charlie Sheen
* Give up carbs
* Fill my iPod with only Nickelback songs

Whoa! I've gone too far. Clearly, I've gone crazy with the melodrama. Whatever. I've succeeded in putting off the packing for tonight just by writing this blog, so Huzzah! Score: Pharon - 1, Packing -0. Alright, I'm off to make another list of all the packing I've got to get done this weekend now. Hope you all have an awesome, non-packing weekend!


grandmaman said...

add UNpacking!

Pharon Square said...

UNpacking never seemed so bad to's kind of like Christmas!

Anonymous said...

you mean you never experienced - why the hell did I save this piece of JUNK!!!

Hoarders anonymous