Men and Their Toys

It is an auspicious day in the Pharon Square household, folks. After days of Geo moping around the house, antsy and asking me to do a thousand different things when all I really want to do is stroll around the house making lists of things to pack - the insanity has ended. Last week, Geo's XBOX died. He got the much-dreaded "red circle" which signaled the demise of his gaming console and best friend. After a week of researching his replacement options, a lot of pacing, and call after call of support, he made the decision to replace it. He gingerly packed it all up to trade it in for a new one, left for GameStop, and came home looking like a dog who found the treat cupboard.

Usually, I consider men more hasty and rough than women. That, I believe, is all true until it comes to his gaming console. Geo set the bag on the couch, and I immediately tore into it like it was a bag of bagels. He's all "Hey! Stop it! I'm bringing it upstairs! Don't open it!" Sheesh...so sensitive. Then his eyes got all twinkly and he said the words every woman longs to hear. "Wanna come watch me set it up??" Swoon.

So, out of sheer curiosity, I follow him upstairs. Here's where it gets just, like, weird. He sets the bag on his bed. Carefully removes the box. Sets that on the bed and just kind of looks at it. Is he going to cry? Ooof, almost. He opens the box, and plucks each piece, each cord, each accessory out and sets each on the bed. Then he does what I've never seen any man do before.

He takes out the instructions and reads them.

He's not taking any chances, he assures me. He's not going to mess this up before he even gets to play his first round of Call of Duty. So, finally, he unwraps everything and is piecing it all together.

It's all a very dainty process. The careful unraveling of the headset, the slow removal of the protective plastic strips, the care with which he hugs the console as he walks it across the room. So slow. So methodical. So...girlie.

"Dude!" (I turn into "dude" when he talks about guy stuff to me) "This new controller is SO clean! Look at the black console! It makes my old white XBOX look like a marshmallow!" I make a helpful comment about going black and no longer having the desire to return.

He's looking for a spot to set the XBOX. With his old one, he'd just kind of set it on a pile of dirty laundry and didn't care if it toppled to the side. But this one, he weighs the options of putting it next to the TV (no, too close to the window - what if it rains?!) and setting it in between a couple pieces of furniture (no, it might get too hot) before basically nestling it near the wall. So much to think about...

Finally, he sits in his XBOX chair and starts the whole thing up. In his eyes, I disappear from the room as the glowing screen and familiar clicks and swoosh sounds come back. I'm pretty sure he's not talking to me when he mumbles "Oh God, you are awesome."

So, now it's back to peace and quiet on the main floor of our house. I must admit it's kind of nice to have the routine restored. It was very unsettling seeing a man be so delicate and cautious with something that isn't a bomb or, like, a really messy burrito. Now he's upstairs screaming "GET THE CARE PACKAGE! WATCH OUT! UGH, YOU MORON, STOP GETTING SHOT!" and other manly man-isms. Though, I can't guarantee he won't sleep with the controller under his pillow...