Not-So-Pretty Little Liar

Real world? Is that you out there?

Despite getting cable about a week ago, I have done nothing but purchase a season pass on iTunes for Season 3 of Pretty Little Liars and watch that obsessively. OBSESSIVELY. I can't talk to real people without associating them with Aria, Hanna, Emily or Spencer or wonder if the people closest to me are posing as A (watch the series, I promise it'll make sense). It's a problem.

You guys? This show has gotten me thinking. I feel like I should lie more. I feel like I should have some deep, dark secrets about past relationships or stints in insane asylums, but so far I've come up with zilch. One time I lied to my college roommates and told them that a friend and I had met and taken a shot with Ashton Kutcher (he went to U of Iowa, so it was totes plausible that he would return to a college town bar and mingle with the coeds). I told my first employer that I was stellar at logical reasoning and math. I've told friends I'm busy when I'm really just sitting at home watching Pretty Little Liars. Not exactly series-finale type stuff.

I don't think I'm a good liar. In fact, I'm downright bad at it. I offer too many details and beg people to believe me too much. I could never be one of those people who nonchalantly tosses my hair while concealing evidence or hiding a letter in my designer handbag. I'm too chatty. Too desperate to be liked. Too loving of gossip. No secrets here, folks.

Also, I'm never smart enough to stay one step ahead of anything. It's hard, and I think it involves math or physics of some sort. Not my bag, baby. (OMG, really? An Austin Powers reference? What is HAPPENING to me?!)

So yeah. that's my downfall. I'm bad at lying. I'm 100% sure that this is not the worst trait in a person. And right now I'd be lying if I said I had some clever way of ending this post or say that I've got an appointment to volunteer somewhere. Because I don't. I'm just going to end it because this TV ain't gonna watch itself.

I miss real life.