ME-rror Fast

You know how much I love trends, right? And you know how obsessed I am with myself, yeah? Well when I heard about a trend involving no dietary changes and mirrors, I was IN. I didn't understand much about these so-called mirror fasts. I assumed they were speedy ways of looking at yourself in the mirror and being nothing but stoked about what you see. Get this....I, Pharon Square, Knower Of All, was wrong. WHAT?!

It was in this rando article that I can't even find again about how the media is being cruel to Krazy Kim Kardashian about her baby weight. I am NOT going to poke fun at the weight of one human building another human inside their body, and people who do are useless and need to find something else to talk about. Like I did with T Sweezie.

Anyhooz, the article continued on to talk about positive body-image role models. There was a long list of people who are beautiful and not crazy, and a bunch of the people on the list were bloggers who had participated in this mirror fast fascination. I was all "I'm a blogger! I should be doing that too!"

There are some major hiccups with this thing. A mirror fast basically is a FAST FROM MIRRORS. It has nothing to do with speed and everything to do with giving something up completely. You all know how I LOATHE that concept (I'm lookin' at you, Atkins). Basically, you are forbidden from ever looking in a mirror. You can't sit in front of one and pluck your eyebrows, gaze into your own eyes or pick apart every imperfect feature below the neck. You can't look at your reflection in a window and admire how good your hair looks, even though you haven't washed it for 5 days. You're ON a fast. From mirrors.

I briefly considered doing this. I was like "Oh how freeing it would be to not spend so much time worrying about my appearance! Rip off these shackles chaining me to society's view of physical perfection!"

The problem, I quickly realized, was that I'm pretty sure these fasts aren't for me. Taking mirrors away from me would be like taking a $20 from Warren Buffet. Probably no one would notice.

I counted the number of mirrors that I look in on an average day. There's the one I use in the bathroom to put my contacts in (that's kind of necessary), there's a tilted full-length mirror in my room so that I can make sure I am wearing matching clothes that do not have holes in them (and look super tall) and the one at my front door. You can only see like a cheek or an eyebrow in it because it's so small, but I use it to make sure I've wiped off last night's eye makeup and don't have poppy seeds from my bagel in my teeth before going into public.

The point is, I'm not falling in love with myself or beating myself up just because I'm looking at myself. In fact, some would argue that I should consult a mirror more often. I mean, sure, there are moments when I'm like "Gross, where did that back fat come from!?" But then there are other days when I'm like "Oh, hey! Look at that! My butt is lookin' goooood in these jeans! I'm never taking them off again!"

But mostly I decided not to give up mirrors because it sounds hard. You can't see your clothes, you can't see  your face, you can't see your super cool angry faces that you make during kickboxing, and you can't make yourself laugh by putting on a rainbow-colored wig, glitter heels and your awesome onesie/footie pajamas and dancing to I Love It in your bedroom. Who else will be able to appreciate that visual?

So, while I understand the point of a mirror fast and can think of a few people who could probably benefit significantly from it, it's just not for me. And that IS what it's all about, right? ME ME ME. Me....I am definitely not the kind of self-involved person who needs to stop obsessing over herself. Now, back to me.