Sunday, March 10, 2013

How To Survive A Wedding Fair...Again

Okay, today I went to The Wedding Fair for the SECOND time since my engagement. People thought I was crazy for going the first time, and those same people thought I was downright masochistic for going again. And for the second time, Kim came with me. We are two crazy peas in a pod. Love it.

So the first time we went to The Wedding Fair, Kim and I did everything wrong. But this time, we did it right and I figure that as a public service, I will tell you guys exactly how to hit up The Wedding Fair, or any ridiculous convention for that matter.

The first time we went, I made us a big fancy brunch, we drank champagne and headed out EARLY. We wanted to hit the fashion shows, after all. We wanted to do it all. Silly rabbits. This was ALL WRONG.

This time around, Kim and I just had coffee beforehand because the free food was where we'd make our $10 back from the cost of the tickets. And we didn't want champagne clouding our judgments. We left coats behind, made sure we packed pens and headed into the Convention Center with clear and direct goals: I needed to find photo booth deals, Kim was interested in photographers.

We couldn't have given two hoots about the fashion shows, and in fact looked forward to those chunks of time when crazy brides would flock into the fashion show rooms so we could plow through the exhibits with ease.

Besides the very first bag you get upon entry, we breezed right by all the other free bags full of crap that we'd just throw away at home. I am still finding Wedding Fair vendor bags tucked behind shelves and underneath my bed. They're like bed bugs.

We also realized that it was important to only register to win things we actually wanted. Otherwise, your hand cramps at crunch time. At a couple places, I shmoozed my way into a potential win, I'm sure of it. I was a hit at the tux stand, and there's no way that dude will ignore my tip to just "keep my entry on the top so it's easier to pick." Wink. I left my pride at home because I just want free stuff. I didn't hide that this time. I didn't feel bad about it. I made it an adorable and very likable quality that people would be fools not to reward.

Even though neither Kim nor I need caterers, we tested all the food without pretending like we were really considering the caterer. "You guys looking for a caterer?" With our mouths full we'd be like "Nope, sorry. Can I get another one of those pineapple meatballs?"

The way to do a bridal fair is to MEAN BUSINESS. No fartin' around trying to polite and wait your turn. You get in, fill out entry forms and get out. You only take brochures for places your are ACTUALLY interested in and not those crap laser-hair removal places. Ugh. Useless. Carnival Cruise Lines? NO THANKS. Handmade monogrammed bags? PASS. Getting free stuff you don't want is not worth the pounds of junk mail and brochures you also don't want.

So yeah. Eat everything. Charm the people who you really actually are interested in working with and save the champagne for the end of the day, when you'll definitely be needing a drink.

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