After work tonight, I decided to lose myself in TV. I've been exhausted lately and am seriously missing out on making some close relationships with fake people. I started watching Downton Abbey and much to no one's surprise, I've gotten hooked. I've also come to two very important conclusions:
1) I need some butlers and maids. Even though my apartment is like 200 square feet and I have zero secret hallways, I really think I would benefit from having someone dress me, clean up after me and iron my newspapers.
2) I need to get an accent. Preferably English or Scottish, I think. You can say ANYTHING with the proper accent and it will be totally fine. "Please eat this dirty diaper for me, would you, mum?" Sure. "Oh, would you look at that? I seem to have run over your darling kitty cat. I'm ever so sorry." It's cool.
I don't exactly know how to go about getting an accent, but I really do think I need one. I have a pretty crass mouth, and rather than shape up and change what comes out of my mouth, I'd rather just dress it up a little with a more delicate tone of voice. That seems more reasonable, right?
It might also make me sound nicer when I accuse my staff of stealing the last bagel.