It's a G Thang...I think?

Okay, so I was trying hard to stay focused at work today, but my mind kept wandering. Sometimes you just can't help it. So, to get back on track, I tuned to my fav Pandora channel and busted out work. When lunchtime came, I was walking to the lunchroom with my friend Rachel and all I could think of was "I ball so hard (*#%*#$)^)!@#s can't fine me...that @*#( cray".

That's because my favorite Pandora channel is a pseduo-hardcore rap station.

I wanted to sing it, rap it, whatever. But, obvs, I can't because the lyrics are...um...super offensive to most people. I can't help it. I LOVE HARDCORE RAP.

When I was in high school, I had a boyfriend. (Shocking, I know. But I did.) And for Valentine's Day, everyone just gave each other CDs. I gave him some cheesy love CD, and he gave me the CD I wanted SO badly but my parents wouldn't let me buy. It was Lil Kim. She is NASTY. (Dude, no WONDER my parents didn't like him!) I don't know what it was about her. I didn't understand a single thing she rapped about, but I knew I loved her.

Oh, have I mentioned I'm the squarest, whitest chick ever?

Listen, I know my parents will be disappointed in me. I do. However, I know more lyrics to NWA songs than anyone else I know. (Mom? Dad? Don't go Googling these songs or artists, K?) I had a pseudo-obsession with Eazy-E for a minute. I just really love songs about objectified women and hating the establishment, apparently.

Lately, though, my obsession has grown. I think it's because rappers are getting seriously CLEVER. Some of my faves use literary devices I still don't understand. They flip words and phrases to fit into a beat that just blows my mind. The way they play with words, use them to generate emotion, and on top of that RHYME EVERYTHING?! Excuse me while I swoon...

People can hate all they want on what they think the message of these songs are. Blah blah blah, so much swearing, so many versions of the word "b!tch", whatever. But the way I listen to rap is the way nerds read poetry. The message and lifestyle of the rappers I like most have almost nothing to do with me, but I don't care.

Can YOU think of 5 words that rhyme with "orange"? Because Eminem can. He plays with pronunciation and syllabic emphasis and ends up rhyming "orange" with "gunshot" or something.

Anyway, I think it's inspiring that there is an entire population of people who love words as much as I do, though we have almost nothing else in common.

I don't like drugs or sizzurp. Yes, I've got a rear end that won't quit, but I'm not exactly the girl in hip hop videos. The "streets" I grew up in were safe and friendly and I played tennis in them. I HATE guns, I don't enjoy hard liquor (besides vodka, dur), and I can't even say the phrase "what's up" without reenacting that stupid Budweiser commercial. I'm not the target market of these artists.

But darnit if I don't love me some wordplay and a hard beat.

My roommates Claire and Andrew got free tickets to see Lil Wayne in concert and I was CRAZY-JEALOUS. When they got home, they talked about how loud and rude people were, and how they didn't understand a word that the guy said. I was all "OMG, did he do 'She Will'? Could you see his face tats? Did he wear red jeans or talk about his jail stint?!" They looked at me like I was an alien. I don't care. The man dominates roughly 10 of my Pandora channels.

Anyway, so there ya have it. I love Kate Spade and hardcore rap. I'm a @#(%*#)^(&_* contradiction. Can YOU guys think of a word that rhymes with "contradiction"? AND tells a story?