Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Spring "cleaning"

OMG! Geo comes home tomorrow!!! FOR GOOD! I'm super stoked, but I'd be lying if I said I was ready for it. I'm not ready for it, guys. No, I'm not worried about living with him again or getting used to having a guy around again. I'm PUMPED for those things. But this girl has lived alone in a tiny apartment eating noodles off the floor for a year now. I'm not proud of the way I've been living, but I'm the only one who had to live with it and I got pretty used to that.

Like, I take my pants off the second I walk in the door and step out of them, leaving piles of abandoned legwear as my doormat. And I only do dishes when I find myself eating a baked potato with a rubber spatula, a garlic press and a pizza cutter. Empty toilet paper rolls? I'm pretty sure they belong in the garbage, but more often than not, they end up in my shoe closet. My shower is full of bottles of not-quite-empty shampoo bottles. Wounded soldiers.

But so now Geo's coming home and he very gently requested that I clean up my act. And my apartment. I didn't know what to do. I stared at my apartment tonight, looking at my already-packed closets and felt defeated. How could I make room for Geo's stuff when there isn't enough room for MY stuff? Maybe he can keep his stuff in the food cabinets and refrigerator? Those places are almost totally bare.

I got started by packing away a bunch of my winter clothes and stacking boxes of them at the foot of my bed because I couldn't lift them and move them anywhere else. Yeah, a real space saver! I tried moving stuff out of the dresser and into some hanging shelves in the closet, but that only saw a tiny margin of success. Then I realized that I hadn't even unpacked my summer stuff yet. I'm in trouble.

I gave up on my closet because it was actively fighting against me. I moved to the bathroom to try and clear out some space for Geo's minimal amount of products. As I moved some stuff from the bathroom to the linen closet, I kept taking things FROM the linen closet and putting them IN the bathroom. Oooh! I forgot about these multicolored hair extensions! But SOMEHOW I managed to clear out a nice little 4-square-inch spot for him. And you think I'm incapable of compromise.

So I have NO IDEA how I managed to accumulate so many THINGS. How I managed to fit them all in my apartment can only be due to magic. And remember the bag of bags? Well I now also have a box of boxes and several other boxes labeled "MISC". That's helpful.

UGH. I feel like I didn't get nearly enough accomplished to make any real difference. I feel horrible because I really want Geo to move in and be able to feel like this is home now. But how can I do that when I have the smallest apartment in the world and am totally incapable of throwing things out?

Well, I guess I have my work cut out for me. Does anyone know the number for Hoarders?

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