Last week I went through a major wedding rite of passage. I had my very first bridal shower! Woo hoo!! Now, I'm almost the last person in the world to get married. (Fine, that's not true. But I'm the last person in my whole FAMILY to get married, so whatevs.) This means that I've been to my fair share bridal showers. I've played the games and wrapped the gifts. I've thrown approx 100 showers as well, so I've also hung the decorations and played the Happy Hostess.
But I've never been the Star of the Show.
I was sure it would be the best thing ever. Me? Center of attention? Getting gifts? SIGN. ME. UP.
So I was a little more than surprised to be sweating nervously the minute I woke up on the day of the shower. I worked the whole day, but was a little distracted because I was drumming up witty banter comments in my head to use at the shower all day. I brushed my teeth like 10 times, changed dresses 8 times and just kept getting more and more nervous.
I've never been the girl who has the bridal shower. I've always been the girl who eats too much and probably drinks too much while watching another girl haul off a billion kitchen gadgets and linens. I'm used to being that girl. I am COMFORTABLE being that girl. I am NOT comfortable being the girl who people come to see.
The shower was absolutely lovely. It was fun and the food was pasta-y and perfect, the wine was delicious and in my mouth. I introduced my mom and sister and Kim to Geo's family and everyone just loved each other. [Ties it all up in a pretty bow.] Everything was going spectacularly. Until the gift part. I don't think I've ever been so sweaty in my life. And I've done mental math in a car without air conditioning while getting pulled over by a cop. But I was sitting in front of all these amazing ladies who had generously gone out and gotten me a shower gift and there I was. Sweating under the calming mood lighting in a living room with all eyes on me and nervously doing everything I could do not to lunge for the biggest, sparkliest box and rip it open, because that is not what ladies do, y'all.
It's a strange feeling to open gifts that you wandered through a store picking out just months ago. "OMG! I am OBSESSED with these mixing bowls!" Uh, we know, Pharon...you picked them out. "Awwwww! This cookie jar is PERFECT!" Yup. That's probably why you scanned the item and put it on a list of things you want people to buy you. "BOGGLE!? How did you know that this is literally the ONLY game I can ever beat Geo at!?" I didn't...you told me to get it for you. Probably because YOU know that it's the only game you can ever beat Geo at. Which is kind of sad.
But I was opening the gifts and was truly moved, not exactly by the gifts I was getting, but at the fact that each thing seemed to fit the gift giver as well as it fit me. I didn't even need the little cheat sheet of who gave what because I could totally picture each person scrolling through the list of things and finding something that they wanted to give. It's like I knew I had picked out good stuff because each thing came from such good people.
Oh, and there is this running joke/very-real-truth that I can't cook. I mean seriously, I can't and everyone knows it. So I had made one joke under my breath when I opened a measuring cup to the effect of "What's THIS thing?!" But it didn't sound funny anymore because I was opening all these crazy-nice kitchen items that I had promised Geo I would use when we were registering for them. Joking that I didn't know what something was seemed like I was saying "I don't even know what I registered for because I just want it all!" which is just so not accurate. So I kept my nervous jokes to myself and tried to imagine what a normal, mature woman would do.
After the gifts were opened, I had lost 16 pounds from sweating and nervous fidgeting. There is a very delicate balance between appreciating each gift and spending way too much time fawning over every pizza cutter and covered casserole dish. It was seriously a balancing act that no one really prepares you for. And I think it's a skill that does not come naturally to most people. Or, at least it doesn't come naturally to me. I dunno, I think I did okay, though. I'm pretty sure that had more to do with how cool everyone ELSE at the shower was being, but maybe I could actually get used to being "showered" with attention. It was SO fun and SO awesome to be with such good friends and family that I kept forgetting that the shower was for me. It actually felt like I was just hanging out with good peeps and everyone just decided to get me stuff. And THAT is something I could def get used to.