A.C. is ruining my life

Well, my worst nightmare came true today. In all my years of acting like a grown up in public and doing an amazing job of hiding the fact that I can barely take care of myself as adult, the whole thing has come crashing down.

Today, while I was at work, maintenance came to my apartment unannounced.

This wouldn't sound like a bad thing for most people. Most people don't leave dirty socks and empty Lean Cuisines stuffed in couch cushions. Most people don't have piles of sequins and craft projects laying on the floor next to a hair dryer, dead batteries and 6 empty plastic bags from Michael's. Most people don't, I'm pretty sure, have 13 shoes, 4 pairs of underwear and 3 pairs of pants lying in the entryway of an apartment and a sink full of dirty Tupperware and coffee mugs. Most people don't have these things laying around, and I KNOW this, which is why I am VERY careful about who I let in my apartment.

So I have loved the fact that apartments are supposed to give you 24 hours notice before coming into your place. It gives me 24 hours to put my life back together. But turns out? My building ain't all cool with those rules. I came home today from a long day of being an adult and wearing clean clothes to discover a note in my door:

"Maintenance was here. We replaced a.c. vent and removed your pie tin from the wall. If leaks continue, contact us."

Allow me to explain: Like A WEEK ago, I called my property managers being all "The a.c. unit is leaking like a banshee." (The a.c. units in my building are in the wall and so all the stuff is hidden behind this vent. When it leaks, it goes into the TINY LITTLE bowl and the world's most annoying alarm is set off to tell me there is a leak. It's quite possibly the worst system of all time.) I said to them, "I'm sure it's the condensation because of the humidity, but it's leaking a lot, so I just threw the alarm away moved the alarm and have just been emptying the tiny bowl more often."

They were all "Gotcha. It shouldn't be a problem. If it is, we'll let you know."

Then I got SUPER annoyed emptying that tiny bowl 100 times a day, so I replaced it with a big ol' pan that I haven't ever used and don't know what it is. It holds waaaaaay more drippage. I felt so MacGuyver-y and efficient. All was good in PharonHood. I was totally coping as an adult. Until today.

Today, I came home to that dumba$$ note. Some dude had been in my apartment without any warning and without any reason, as far as I'm concerned. He took out the mysterious pan I had so thoughtfully and responsibly put in the wall vent and laid it - almost purposely - on top of an empty Coors Light can next to my TV. Like, what a jerk! And I can't be sure, but I'm almost certain he did a few dishes while he was here.

RUDE.

Anyways, I feel pretty violated. I had no idea this dude was showing up and I have a LOT of things laying around that I would have put away had I been expecting "guests." Not just like the dirty socks and wigs and old wine bottles, but, oh I don't know...the WEDDING rings and my COMPUTER and my KATE SPADE glasses?! HELLO!?

What do I do? Am I supposed to be all "Um, 'scuse? Don't let strangers in my apartment!" or is that only giving my property managers the opportunity to be like "Oh, hey, we're pretty sure you're a hoarder or a child so we can't allow you to live here anymore."? And what if they're like "Um, so we're worried that you have 11 half-empty shampoo and body wash bottles in your shower, so I really think you have some psychological issues that you need to deal with." Listen, I don't need my PROPERTY MANAGER to tell me I'm lazy. I'm well aware, thankyouverymuch.

Anyway, it was a horrible invasion of privacy and now I have a random pan on top of a beer can AND the judgement of some anonymous maintenance dude to remind me that I have a long way to go in my journey to becoming an adult. But hey! I'm pretty sure my a.c. unit works again! Huzzah!