Monday, July 8, 2013

Suitable (or not)

I was all set to sit here and blather on about how I wore jean shorts today (which I NEVER do because I look...not right) but as I sat here, Geo walked in and said "What do you think about this suit?" I looked up. "Looks great!" I went back to talking about how jean shorts make my legs somehow both short AND angry when he came out again. "What about this suit? How does it look?" I looked up again. "Uh, fine. Didn't we just have this conversation? And he's like "Pharon, this is a totally different suit. This one is dark grey. The other was light black."

Exsqueeze me?

See, I kind of pride myself on totally understanding everything about men. You know, like how their attention spans are shorter and more selective than women's and how they can't remember my birthday, but they can remember how many yards Adrian Peterson ran for five years ago. But the one thing I just do NOT understand is all their suits.

Geo has like a billion suits. Each one more suit-y than the last. So, he started his new job today and he has to wear a suit to work EVERY. DAY. now, which I think is insane, but he thinks is "business formal." I consider anything but flip flops and a tank top "business formal." Anyways, so he has all these really nice suits that he has to wear on top of a nice long-sleeved shirt with a tie and an undershirt, which are all wrapped up around his neck with a TIE, not to mention socks AND shoes! What is this, medieval times!? That seems like a lot of armor for men to have to wear all the time, and I actually feel bad for them. Especially in the summer.

Plus, suits are WAY more complicated than "black" "grey" "summer" or "winter". Geo was like "Is the jacket too short on this one? How about the cuffs? Do the buttons look right? Are these pants too tight on my butt? Do you think I can get away with a blazer and suit pants? Is this black, like, tuxedo black or casual black?" I may as well have been in Greece for all the sense his questions were making to me.

I raised an eyebrow and said " Don't you just, like, put a winter coat on top of an already-nice outfit and call it a day?" I was wrong. So wrong.

Oh well. The good news is that Geo understands suits. I think he asked me out of both pity and concern because I was laying on the couch with one shoe on, the pair of jean shorts I was trying to pull off but wasn't and a sundress I had spilled soy sauce on. casual.

No comments: