Wednesday, July 10, 2013

31 days

Don't hate me. This is a post about wedding planning. But please don't hate me, because I hate myself enough already.

I got an email today. It was from TheKnot. I used to be so enthused and hopeful to get these emails of hope and inspiration and checklist items. But today it was all snarky and mean and rude. It was like "Hey! Great! One month until you wedding!" Really? REALLY, THEKNOT!? Thanks for the reminder. I had nearly  forgotten that I have 31 days left in this magical dreamland.

Here's the thing. I've tried to spared you all from the drama that is planning a wedding. In fact, I've tried so hard that I simply didn't have anything else to blog about and so I just kept skipping blogs. Sorry. But actually, I'm not sorry. If planning an amazing wedding was easy, everyone would do it.

But as THE KNOT has made crystal clear, I have one month. One month left to finally blog about planning a wedding. I've tried super hard not to turn this blog into a "Woe is me, I'm planning a wedding and it's hard" blog. I don't LIKE talking about it, but honestly it's like ALL I can even think about and I'm annoying the hell out of myself. I wake up in a cold sweat worrying about napkins. I spend hours at the gym and on Pinterest and flipping through bridal magazines so that I'm officially brainwashed and constantly prepping for The Best Day Ever. I'm drowning in wedding planning.

For over a year now, I've been trying to make one party mimic the lifetime of mixed-up thoughts I had in my head about my wedding. The lights, the drama, the magical dreamland of love, the choreographed dances, the collective sighs as I appear on a cloud from the rooftop with Nelly Furtado singing "Childhood Dreams" next to me. All I needed was the man. So once I found Geo, I thought it would just unfold in front of me. Like "Oh, okay, now that the groom is here, I can finally have the perfect wedding."

Ummmm. Never once in my Nelly-Furtado-dreamland did the concept of table runners, cake ribbon, RSVPs, ugly carpet or uplighting come into play. I didn't think about the details. I thought about the dress, the dancing, the fun, the love. But that all doesn't just happen on it's own. You have to plan.

And I thought "Hey, I love planning parties! This'll be soooo totes easy!" I thought they were fun, and as long as there was enough liquor, it would always be a good time. But now there's Pinterest and magazine weddings and fancy venues and elaborate themes and signature cocktails and horse-drawn limos or whatever to think about. It's literally TOO much. Plus, my beloved (gag, I've never used that word unless talking about bagels) has been away for much of it.

But the reality is this: Everyone who has planned or is planning a wedding is hated by someone. I've hated people, and I know for a fact that people have hated me. But finally I know why this is. IT'S HARD. It's something that you think should be so simple. "La la la, as long as we have each other..." Puke. It's not like that.

If you elope, people hate you because you didn't invite them. If you hire a wedding planner, people hate you because you took a shortcut. If there's a destination wedding, people hate you because it cost them an arm and a leg to attend. If you plan a "small, but intimate" wedding, people hate you because it's not big enough. If you have a casual wedding, people hate you because they wanted an excuse to dress up. If you get married on a holiday, people hate you for having it on a holiday. If you have it NOT a holiday, people hate you for not just having it on a holiday. And if you have a big ol' traditional wedding, people hate you because all you can talk and think about about is the bazillion details that go into executing such an event. It's literally a no-win situation. If you've planned a wedding, there is someone who hates you. Ahh...the magic of love...

It's not right, but it's true.

Anyways, with one month to go, I do want to say this: There are more wedding posts to come. Not many, because as The Knot has so helpfully reminded me, there are only 31 days left. But I'm going to embrace my crazy and pull you all along for the ride. One month. That's it. Can you handle it?

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