Thursday, November 29, 2012

Acting the Part

So, I was just laying on the floor in the middle of my apartment thinking about some really important stuff. Initially, I was all "OMG, I have GOT to sweep these hardwood floors" but then I was all "Poor Lindsay Lohan."

Homegirl got in another accident last night. There's nothing I like about Miss Lohan except her memorable turn as a normal person in Mean Girls. Great actress? No. Certifiably insane? Likely.

But I feel bad for her, you guys! She's the ideal butt of every joke ever. She's crazy, she has a crazy family and she continues to do crazy things seemingly on purpose, and I think that everyone has just decided that she's going to be crazy forever. So, I'm pretty sure that people automatically think she's a straight-up dummy.

So what, she apparently got in another accident the other night at 4 a.m.? BIG DEAL.

Here's my argument in favor of La Lohan: She is a very target-able person and people all over everywhere are set to take advantage. I mean, come on. The girl put her 100% into a critically panned movie about Elizabeth Taylor and then when it fails, we are supposed to be SURPRISED that she wants to blow off some steam and hang out until 4 a.m.? Tell me what YOU did the last time you found out that everything you worked for was hot garbage.

What would YOU guys do if you had just learned that not only did you fail at your job, but every person on the planet would learn about your poor performance? You would NOT be cool about it. Oh, OH! AND she just found out she has a half-sister. Gee, THAT'S normal news we all get and have to deal with every day...#not.

I'm not saying LiLo is sane...or sober...but I am saying that every person ever has automatically decided that this chick is a total mess and she's always drunk driving into herds of cats or kids or whatever. It's just not fair for the horrible little actress. She's gone to jail and rehab...what else do we want her to do? Everyone needs to calm down and stop deciding that these head-case nutjobs who we have granted instant fame need to "behave themselves."

Rude. If I were famous tomorrow, I'd do unconscionable things. I'd skip out on tabs, buy cars and leave them wherever they are when they run out of gas, find rich friends, buy rich friends, park wherever I darn well pleased, buy monkeys for pets and let them throw their poop everywhere...things like that.

My point is that crazy starlettes in Hollywood are both annoying and fragile. I mean yes, they are likely insane and desperate for attention, but that doesn't mean we need to add insult to injury by acting all innocent and surprised when our insatiable need for a juicy story causes them to have a nervous breakdown or crash into a person on the street as they are fleeing from paparazzi. Let's just all relax and stop being as terrible to them as they are in their latest "acting" role. Okay? Okay.

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